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thatoneyanderewriter · 2 years ago

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Coincidence

pairing: yandere!nick nelson x male!reader

summary: you used to think it was purely coincidental how nick had always been there to help you. or even just talk. but you soon discover that it may not be a coincidence at all.

warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, blood, murder, harry Greene is a warning himself, homophobia, f slur(I promise I can say it), and violence.

It began a few months ago. And at first it didn’t seem that odd. Nick Nelson being constantly there wherever you were. In fact you found it kind of nice.

You had a big crush on him anyways. You had plenty of opportunities to confess. But your friend Tao is convinced he’s straight and also, a bit odd.

“Okay, you think it’s not weird that he’s like everywhere? Tao scoffed. “This is an all-boys school, Charlie reminded him. “So? What do you think y/n? Tao asked, hoping you’d take his side.

“I’m not that bothered, I appreciate your protectiveness but we don’t even really know each other do we? You say, assuring him it was just strange coincidences that may be a blessing in disguise.

Tao rolled his eyes.”don’t say I didn’t warn you.” And then the rugby game. That obviously was a coincidence but you did know he was great at it. And Charlie your friend was in it so you should support him.

“Y/n, hey! Nick said, over by where you were. They were either done or taking a break. “Hi, You say. You were shy and when a popular guy is talking to you? Yeah you’re a bit nervous.

“It is kind of funny we always run into each other, Nick Joked. You laughed.”Tao thinks it isn’t a coincidence.” Nick laughs nervously which you found weird but brushed it off.

“Y/N! Tao whines. You come back over. “Tao’s being dramatic, again, Elle says. This was the time Higgs and Truham were kind of reunited.

“What about this time? You sigh, while smiling. You didn’t mind your friend being dramatic but sometimes he was a bit too dramatic.

“He thinks that Nick’s like obsessed with you or something, Isaac said. “Oh my god, you laugh, finding it funny.”Tao, you’re being a bit dramatic now don’t you think?”

“I don’t care, I’m just looking out for you, Tao said, crossing his arms. You always looked out for him too. “And I appreciate it so much but trust me on this one, he’s just a friend that I occasionally talk to, You assure him.

“Mhm, Charlie teased.”You definitely like him, y/n.” You smile, you didn’t deny it because at that point it was obvious. Why deny anything?

“You’re not denying it! Elle laughs.”So it’s official, you like rugby king nick nelson.” “Just be a bit quieter, I don’t want the whole world to hear, you say softly.

“Sorry, Elle apologized. “You know what? I’m happy for you, Tao said.”still think there’s something off.” Deep down you felt that too but because you really were into him you ignored those feelings.

But the way he played was really good and he was very, pretty. “You’re staring again aren’t you? Isaac chuckled. You sigh.”fine. I am. But look at him!”

“As your golden straight friend I don’t really see it, Tao said. “Well you aren’t gay! Charlie chuckled.”Y/n has good taste.” They were taking a break so Charlie was chatting with your friends for a bit before being called back over.

He was really good at rugby and you couldn’t be more happier for Charlie. He was becoming well liked though some still made fun of him for being gay. You were also gay and got made fun. That’s the bad part about Truham, homophobes.

Speaking of homophobes, you were preparing to leave the school when Harry and his “Mates” come up to you. “Hey Y/n, I’ve got some questions to ask, He says.

“Um, okay, you reply nervously. “Are you like attracted to any of the guys here? Cause you know, it’s an all boys school, He laughed.

“No, You lied. “Well how’s it like being gay? Harry asked. For someone who was asking sexuality questions it seemed like Harry himself was a homosexual. You wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.

“Or are you just that little fag who likes every guy? Harry said. “Okay, that’s it, you scoff, walking away while he simply laughed at you. You were so annoyed at that point.

You just ignored them at that point. Your walk home wasn’t too far from the school, it was not that much of a walk. But the laughter that was usually so loud stopped.

You could still hear their conversation and at that point mostly everyone had gone home. But your curiosity caught up to you. Besides your sneaking suspicion wanted you to eavesdrop because you also heard Nick pipe in.

“Relax, mate, it was just a joke, you hear Harry say.”And how did you even hear us?” “Well it obviously wasn’t funny to him, especially when you used the f slur, Nick said,

Harry just laughed before saying nick was being sensitive. That’s when you heard someone punch. And you knew it was Nick. He had punched Harry. You thought that’s where it would end. But it didn’t. Not even close. You crept closer and saw the horrific scene.

Nick was definitely punching Harry, who couldn’t even fight back at that point, and his friends had fled in fear you could only assume. Maybe Tao had been right. For once.

You wanted to scream but didn’t. What if he heard you? You decided you had to do the one thing you were horrible at.

Running.

That’s something you and Tao had in common. You both sucked at Running. But you ran anyway. You were going to tell Tao he was right and he may or may not be cocky about it.

You remember all the times that Nick had “helped” you. But now it made sense. He had been following you and maybe was right now.

You run straight home and text your friends immediately that it was an emergency.

And in less than ten minutes, your friend group was over. “So you said this was an emergency, Elle said. “Mhm, you reply, fidgeting with your fingers.

“What is it? I was freaked out, Tao said. “Well uh, Tao was right, you finally say. Everyone’s eyes widen, then look at Tao. And like you expected, a smug look forms for a second then it turns to concern.

“Wait so, he’s obsessed with you? Tao asks. “I just saw him pretty much beat Harry to death, or almost, I ran before I could see if he was dead, You admit.

“It’s over now, y/n, Elle assured you.”I’m sure maybe what you saw was a misunderstanding. There’s no way that Tao was right.”

You nodded. Tao scoffed from Elle’s comment but still as concerned. That thought remained in your min though.

And you wondered, did Nick know you had witnessed most of it?

You hadn’t known him to be violent. No, he was nice and caring. Far from that type but you guessed you didn’t know him that well.

You shuddered.”Wait… I think we’re being watched.” “Huh? What do you mean? Elle asks, you go to your window, looking outside.

Perhaps it was paranoia kicking in but you definitely felt like someone was there. “Y/n…. I… wait, I see someone, Elle said.

“What? Charlie, Isaac and Tao say in unison, jumping up to your window. You could see the person too. “Oh my god. You need to report this, Elle said.

“I… what if they hurt me? You say. "I mean yeah I could fight them off but still!” “No, this is the right thing to do, Elle said.

You sigh. "I guess I’ll do it. Especially since that person is acting like Michael Myers with just standing there staring right at me.” "Your Mum and Dad are home, right? Elle said.

You nodded. Elle replies, grabbing your hand, "Come on. you should tell them. You give in."Okay. I guess." You go downstairs where your mum and dad were.

"mum, dad? you say. "yes? your mother responds. "i think someone is following me, you confess. suddenly, your mother and father look more worried.

"following you? your mother says. "we saw him, miss l/n, Elle pipes in. "We believe you, Your Father said. You sigh of relief. they both hug you. "We should report this, Your Mother suggested.

“We should… but right now we should stay inside, you say shakily.”I don’t really want to go outside.” You didn’t even understand why you were so scared when you could take down the stalker if you really wanted to and were fighting for your life.

“Well then, y/n, maybe stay down here so we can supervise you for now? Your mother said. You nodded.

You hadn’t told them the complete truth. That you knew who your stalker was. It made complete sense to be nick, you just knew it.

#tw yandere #tw obsession #nick nelson x reader #mlm #lgbtq #gay #bisexual #male!reader #yandere heartstopper #yandere nick nelson #male y/n #y/n x character #heartstopper x reader

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trumpkinhotboy · 1 year ago

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Lean on me

Pairing: Twin Brother!Nick Nelson x Twin sister!Reader

Type: Request (thank you so much!!)

Genre: Angst that ends with a lot of fluff

Warnings: Sexual Assault situation. Although the details aren't of extreme nature, it can still be a hard thing to read for some people, so be careful <33

Rating: 13+ (because of SA)

Word count: ~ 4600

Requests: Open! For Heartstopper, twilight wolfpack, chronicles of narnia and harry potter

A/n: I was really inspired for this fic and it took me quite some time to write it. I hope you will enjoy protective brother nick nelson and the fluff with the Paris gang as much as I do. If you have any requests feel free to message me !!

A/n pt.2: Please don't come for me for my summary, I fucking hate writing those xoxo

*gif is not mine!!

Summary: The reader goes to a party without her twin brother, Nick. Through different circonstances, she ends up dancing with someone who might have not rightfully earned her trust. The situation quickly escalates to horrible heights. She will have no other choice, but to learn how to defend herself, and how to lean on the people who matters for her.

Your heart is racing, your eyes are burning, and silent tears stream down your face. You rest on the threshold of the door you've just exited from. You can't grasp and even begin to process what just happened. You look up, hearing your name being called from afar. It feels like you're in a different dimension. Everywhere you look, reality seems distorted by some filter. Finally, you focus on your mother's face. She's sitting in her little car, window down, waving at you. Automatically, your body starts walking toward the car, but mentally you are elsewhere. In a dark corridor up in this horrible mansion. Trapped.

Your heart beats in a thumping rhythm as you cross the threshold of the mansion. Music is blasting out at an alarmingly loud volume with the place already packed.

You try to calm your breathing and to remember you were invited and belong here as much as anybody else. The few people you cross paths with wave at you. You smile back, trying to look confident and relaxed. The image of collected cool.

Even though there's actually a weight dropping in your stomach.

You are, after all, Nick Nelson's twin sister. He has a certain 'popular kid' reputation that was mostly passed on to you by association. You are both known for being nice and popular kids. Although you definitely are more lowkey than your 'rugby king' brother. So, even if you aren't sure these people are your crowd, you couldn't refuse when you had been invited to some guy's end-of-exams party.

It wasn't rare for you to be invited to events like this. Although, it was one of the few times your brother didn't join you. Ever since he started dating Charlie and got closer with the Paris gang, you could see less and less of him at these kinds of gatherings. That's why tonight, instead of being here with you, drinking lukewarm punch and listening to questionable music as some alcoholized teens were being unleashed in a mansion worth ten times your house, he was hanging out at home with his friends. You would much rather be with them, but they were Nick's friends, and even though they were nice to you, you always felt like the annoying sister trying to tag along in her brother's friend group.

That's why even when 95% of you wanted to turn back around and escape that terrible party, you took a deep breath in and let yourself be swallowed by the crowd of people.

10:15pm. You had been here for an hour, and it did not get better. The cup of punch in your hands was sticky and smelled incredibly weird. No doubt because someone had dumped in a bunch of mixed liquors. Your friends were all hanging around. Either dancing or flirting with some questionable-behaving young men. You couldn't help but look at your phone about a thousand times in the last twenty minutes. You thought about calling your mother. You knew she'd come to fetch you, but then what? You'd go back home? Seeing Nick and all of his friends having a jolly old time while you had failed to have a good night on your own? No, thank you.

You loved Nick to death, but sometimes, seeing how liked he was proved to be incredibly difficult for you. You always felt like an impostor. He dared to be himself, and people liked him anyway. You weren't so sure you'd be met with the same welcome if you dared step away from the facade you had carefully built all these years.

Maybe that's why you accepted to dance with someone you didn't even know. You did see each other around a few times but never actually spoke. He seemed nice enough, so when he reached out a hand and offered you to dance, you drank a sip of your horrible drink and joined him on the crowded dancefloor without question.

He was entertaining and invented goofy dance moves to make you laugh, but all the while, something felt off. You felt like you were being watched. Sometimes, you'd see his gaze over you as if he was looking at someone else. Each time you'd try to look in that direction to see who he might be looking at, he'd find some clever way to focus your attention elsewhere. After a few songs, you were both out of breath, sweaty, and hoping for a break. You were about to invent a creative excuse to get away when he offered to get some water. You hesitated, trying to look around for a friend, but none were in sight.

"Come on, we'll get some water and air if you want to. I know a spot." His expression was kind and seemed genuine. That's why, again, you followed him even though some small part of you screamed that you shouldn't.

The feeling in your gut turned queasy as he led you through dark corridors. The once kind smile that graced his features seemed to turn smug as you headed deeper into the house. You finally reached a little room far away from the agitated crowd. He opened the door, inviting you inside. "Are you coming?"

Your feet were rooted to the ground, the feeling in your stomach spreading to your entire body. This felt wrong.

"Uhm, no. I think my mom will be here soon. I should go." You took a step backward, trying to put some distance between the two of you. Trying to calm the instinct that screamed at you to run.

"Oh, come on. Don't you want a glass of water?"

You only stared at him, not daring to respond, too scared to fall into this trap he layed in front of you. You knew water would not be involved if you entered that room, and he seemed to get that too, "We had fun, didn't we?" the change in his tone made shivers creep up your arms. Gone was his facade of the innocent boy. He now looked like a snake trying to lure in his prey.

"Yeah, but now it's time for me to go. Thanks."

He stepped towards you, making you fully back into the wall. "Please stay. It's my party, you know. The least you could do is stay a little longer with me."

You looked around, noticing his arms had crept on the wall on either side of you.

"Please get your arms off," you demanded. You tried to make your voice sound assured but failed to hide the quiver in it. He noticed it, and the glim of rotten confidence in his eyes shone brighter. He had you exactly where he wanted you.

He trailed one finger up your arm, your stomach tying in knots at the touch. "You know, I've seen you around a lot. You're Nick Nelson's sister. People talk about you. They say you're stuck up. You've never had a boyfriend or anything, am I right? I like girls like that, so nice, so pure."

You almost threw up on him, the allusions making you feel nauseous. You couldn't, and wouldn't, hide the disgust filling your eyes. You looked around, hoping to see someone turn up. Praying for someone to come, but it seemed you were out of luck as the corridor stayed empty.

His hand went up in your hair, and you held your breath. Terror like you had never felt before paralyzed your body. "The guys bet you wouldn't get with me, but I think we have potential together. Am I right? We could head in that little room together and see what happens."

You felt the hand on your waist slowly slide down your hip, tugging you closer.

"Get off of me!" you exploded as you pushed him back as hard as you could. He hit the door behind him quite hard, the doorknob digging in his back. You made a headstart to get away, but before you could get further, his hand grabbed your wrist, tightening his grip until he had you wincing in pain.

He gritted his teeth, ambers of rage dancing in his eyes. "Oh, come on, don't be like this. Stay here with me, and we'll have fun." He pulled you backward by the collar of your shirt, and you heard the fabric rip with a distinct sound. He pressed you tight on his chest. You could feel every part of him pushing hard against your back. He gripped your hips while his other hand fumbled with your chest. His foul mouth on your neck.

Refusing to give up, you gathered all the self-defense knowledge you had and stepped on his foot as hard as you could, hitting him with your elbow in the stomach at the same time. You put all your strength in the blow as if you were trying to pierce him through. You knew you cut the air from his body with the sound he made. His arms loosened up for a second, and this time, when you started running in the opposite direction, nothing stopped you.

Running as fast as you could, you looked back for a second. Unable to resist the reflex to confirm you weren't being followed. Whipping your head to the front, you couldn't dodge when someone suddenly exited a door on the side. You crushed into them with blunt strength, almost sending you two toppling down.

"Oi! Watch where you're going- Oh, Y/n. Are you okay?"

The voice sounded incredibly familiar, and your gaze focused for a second. Sai, one of Nick's good mates, was staring at you, worry digging down the corners of his mouth.

"Uhm, I- I'm sorry. I have to go." You couldn't stop and risk getting caught again, so you started running, leaving Sai looking at your disappearing form.

You fled outside, already texting your mother. You hid until you saw the familiar form of the family car. Sprinting towards it, you climbed in as fast as you could.

"Well, someone's in a hurry to come home." chuckled your mother as she headed towards the exit. "The party wasn't fun?"

Forehead resting on the cold window, you couldn't say a word. If you were honest, you could barely register what your mother said. All you could feel was his hands on you. His lips on your neck. The phantom sensations gave you the horrible feeling that he was still grabbing you. That you were still trapped up there.

Your mother's touch on your arm brought you back to reality. "Are you okay, darling?" Even the soft touch on your arm was enough to make you shudder. "Y/n, did something happen?"

Your gaze connected with hers for a split second, but you willed the fear in your eyes to disappear. To go back to a dissociated gaze. Allowing nothing to show.

"I don't want to talk about it now," you mumbled while covering the tear in your shirt with your hoodie. You needed to comprehend what had happened before you could say something. Even if you wanted to, the words were stuck in your throat.

Your mother stayed silent for the rest of the ride, although you could feel her gaze on you a few times. You felt like she'd say something until she faced the road again without adding a word.

When you finally pulled into the driveway, you made for the door. You wanted nothing else but to disappear into your room. Your escape was halted when your mom grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. You winced at the pain it inflicted and the reminder it brought. The look in your eyes was one of undiluted terror.

Her face turned white as a ghost's. "Y/n, I will give you your space for now, but I want you to know and understand that we will discuss this."

Your house was filled with music and happy voices. You could hear through cotton-filled ears someone call your name but didn't stop. When you slipped into your room, you stood in the dark and looked at your wrist. The red mark on it was already turning to a soft purple. A whimper escaped your mouth as you sunk to the floor.

You cried and cried and cried. The adrenaline had left your body, and the walls you had built around you to survive had been torn down. With a hand on your mouth, you tried to maintain your sobs to a minimum volume.

What the actual fuck was all you could manage to think.

Catching a glance of yourself in the mirror hanging on your wall, a wave of disgust ravaged you. In the darkness, like glow-in-the-dark marks, you could see the print of his hands on you, the sloppy marks he left on your neck. You felt disgusting. You needed to wash this off now.

You headed for the bathroom, trying not to attract anyone's attention. You were about to grab the doorknob when the door opened on a surprised Tara.

"Oh my god, Y/n, you scared me! I didn't know you were here," she exclaimed with her usual cheerfulness.

You stayed silent, feeling like you had been caught red-handed. Shame crept on your cheeks.

In a second, she analyzed the state you were in. The tear on the collar of your shirt. Your puffy eyes, your red cheeks. "What happened to you? What happened to your shirt? Are you okay?"

Her sweet concern was all it took for you to tumble into tears again. She helped you back to your room, supporting and hugging you tight. You babbled incoherently about what had happened. You just needed these horrible words to be out of your system. You needed this unbearable reality out of your head, needed the constant litany of words to stop.

Tara listened to your whole story and managed to understand through your sobs. As you finished, out of breath, she convinced you to let her get Nick. You dreaded it at first, so scared to see his reaction, but the once-in-a-while seriousness in Tara's tone managed to persuade you.

You heard her going down the stairs and waited in silence. You held your breath. The house was utterly silent as if it was also holding its breath. Then, it erupted, and all you could hear was someone climbing up the stairs at an alarming pace. Your door opened on a whim, almost digging a hole in your wall with how strongly it went flying back.

Your twin brother was standing on your doorstep, his chest going up and down quickly. He didn't say anything. He just scanned you from head to toe before reaching out his arms. Engulfing you in a tight embrace, he rocked you back and forth.

"Tell me," was all he said, his tone hoarse and hard.

"I was anxious and bored, and this guy asked me to dance. We did, and then he offered to get some water and air. I followed him but felt this grip in my gut. Felt like something was off. He led me to a dark room. I refused to go in and said I had to go, but then he backed me into this wall. Saying stuff about what other people thought about me and about some bet he'd made with his friends. I- I tried escaping Nick, I really did, I promise. I kept my distance, I told him to go away, but he wouldn't. I pushed him and tried to make a run for it, but he grabbed my wrist and started touching me. I managed to defend myself and get away. I ran into someone. I think it was Sai. I stopped for a second but couldn't tell him anything, so I ran again and hid until Mum came to pick me up."

The silence in your room was deafening. His whole being was at a standstill. Nick wasn't known to be a violent person. Quite the opposite, but you felt like that was about to change.

"Show me where he hurt you."

You extended your wrist, the mark gone even darker than before.

"Anywhere else?" he reluctantly asked.

You couldn't, and wouldn't, show him where precisely but managed to wave your hand towards your neck and upper body. Shame once again invaded your cells. His eyes filled with despair and so much rage. He hugged you tight again. "I'm going to kill him."

You whipped your head up. The look in your brother's eyes was one you had never seen before. Immediately, guilt flooded your thoughts.

"Nick, you can't get involved in this. I'm so sorry I got into all this trouble. I don't want it to affect you at school. I shouldn't have followed him. This is my fault."

He looked at you incredulously. As if you had just said the dumbest thing he had ever heard.

"Y/n, you didn't get in trouble. Someone assaulted you. You are not at fault here. Do you understand? Because I really need you to." He tightened his grip on you, his cheek on the crown of your head. "I don't need you to pull some Charlie number on me."

"A Charlie number, uh?" you heard a familiar voice speak up.

Charlie's head peeked from your door. The face of comfort and reassurance. "Can I come in?" You nodded as he made his way to the bed. "Although I'm not sure what exactly he's referring to, I'm pretty sure he's right. You shouldn't feel guilty for something someone did to you, okay? Especially for something like this."

You saw the hint of pain flashing in his eyes and remembered he had experienced something similar.

He reached a hand you immediately grabbed. You had loved Charlie since that first day he came to your house to meet Nellie. There was something about him that always made you feel safe and comfortable. His presence here meant a lot to you. "You okay?"

You still weren't precisely grabbing the heaviness of what had happened. But the support you were shown helped you manage the whirlwind of emotions you were feeling. You nodded feebly.

"What do you want to do?" finally asked Nick. "Can we do anything for you right now?"

You confessed you did not want to be alone tonight. You dreaded being left with your thoughts, scared they would swallow you whole. "I just want to feel safe," you whispered.

The words were like a dagger to Nick and Charlie's hearts. They both felt so guilty about not being there to protect you. What happened tonight brought them back to the beginning of their relationship. When Charlie had been through the same thing you just did. It awakened so many unpleasant and painful memories in their hearts.

"Of course. We can stay with you all night," said Nick with a kind smile, and you knew he meant it.

He offered to watch a movie, knowing that was your thing when you needed comfort. He felt that nothing he could do would help you heal from the experience you just had, but he'd do anything in his power to make you feel better. Your eyes light up at the suggestion, and he couldn't help a loving smile from lighting up his face.

"The gang is still down there. If you want, I can ask them to leave?" suggested Charlie. "Even I can go home if you would rather be alone with your family. That'd be totally understandable."

If you were being honest, you would love for them to stay. The more, the merrier, and Nick's friends were such a cheerful and caring group. You knew they would be supportive. You hesitated, on the edge of saying yes.

Nick felt your hesitation and put a hand atop Charlie and yours. "We can ask everyone to leave if you want to, no problem. But if you feel comfortable and want them here, I know they'd love to."

You finally admitted you'd love for them to stay. Charlie went downstairs to fill them in. Leaving you in the room, still wrapped in your brother's arms. Both of you weren't ready to move just yet.

"If you want them to leave or need anything at any moment, I want you to come straight to me. Is that clear?" You nodded. "And while they set everything up, I have to tell Mum. She's worried sick, and rightfully so."

You nodded once again, knowing she deserved to know. Still, you couldn't help your stomach from twisting in knots at the thought of this thing spreading out.

Always so observant, Nick noticed how scared you looked. "Please, trust me, let me handle this. You don't have to worry about a thing. Just let me deal with it. You can lean on me." You mumbled an 'okay' as he kissed the top of your hair.

An invisible promise to protect you forever.

The gang all split up to help make you feel better. Elle, Tara, and Darcy helped you clean up. You didn't want to be alone. So when you looked anxious to step in the bathroom, they all suggested they'd sit down in there, waiting for you. They were incredibly caring and supportive. Acting like this wasn't out of the blue and odd. You knew Nick and Charlie had filled them in, but none dared to say a thing. Their respect for your privacy and light chatting were both things you were incredibly grateful for. In the meantime, Tao and Isaac prepared the living room for the movie. They went all out and built a fort of pillows and blankets with snacks, ready to welcome you when you were done.

As for Nick and Charlie, they were dealing with the situation. They told everything to your mum and contacted Sai to find out what he'd seen. He immediately admitted seeing you running away from a corridor, shirt torn up, with tears running down your face. He found the guy in question, still catching his breath, and pieced two and two together. He even got him to admit the whole thing. He questioned some guys and even confirmed the horrible rumor of the bet. It had taken everything, and encouragement from Charlie, for Nick to stay put and not rush back there to beat his ass. Even your 'anti-violence' mother kept her mouth shut while Nick uttered threats, each worse than the other. The next day would already be horrible enough for the guy without Nick having to get in trouble had reassured his boyfriend.

Forty-five minutes later, you were all covered in blankets, resting on pillows, cuddled up together. Nick and Charlie were sitting on either side of you. Your brother's arm reached around you and his boyfriend.

The rest of the gang was scattered around the floor and the couch, but you were still all touching. Forming an unbreakable chain of support and love.

You looked around and felt so grateful as you looked at the people present. Nick squeezed your hand with a kind smile, a quick check-up to confirm you were still okay. You cleared your throat, gathering everyone's attention. The movie softly played in the background while you started, "I wanted to thank you for this. You have all been incredible. Thank you for helping me, and I hope you can forgive me for interrupting your end-of-exams party."

"Hush with that. As if we'd ever be mad for something like this." intervened Elle. She put a comforting hand on your shin, her features so open and caring. You couldn't help but give her an answering smile.

"Did you really think we'd resent you for what happened tonight?" inquired Charlie. Once again, a light of understanding sparkled in his blue eyes.

"No, but it's just... This was your thing. Your party, and once again, I'm intruding in and forcing you guys to hang out with me."

"Forcing us?!" cut Tara. "Y/n, I don't think anyone here would feel forced to hang out with you. We like hanging out with you!"

Your eyes shone with surprise and something like relief. They all looked at each other incredulously. Not quite believing that you didn't know how much they liked you. "What?! Did you think we only thought of you as Nick's little sister?"

You turned your head towards a disbelieving Tao. Your shy silence was an answer in itself.

"You have great taste in movies. Plus, you have a lot of knowledge about the cinematic universe. I like hanging out with you because you're the only one in this group with decent expertise of the culture." He added enthusiastically. Pronouncing that last word with his usual mediocre impression of a Scottish accent, he extorted a laugh from your chest.

"And you like to dance, and for some reason, you get Darcy's poor sense of humor," added Tara with a sarcastic roll of her eyes. To which her girlfriend lightly tapped her leg in protest.

"And you're into art, and you're actually the only one in this group who can give me constructive criticism about my work." Your gaze dropped back to Elle, giving an accusatory look at the rest of the group.

"And you're the only one willing to have a book club with me. Don't think I can talk and have actual discussions with this lot about all the books I read," finished Isaac with a shy smile. He was the first in the gang, after Charlie, with whom you felt really close. You squeezed his hand as a silent thanks.

"We're trying to tell you how you mean so much more to us. You're Y/n Nelson. We like hanging out with you because you're a great person with great interests. Not because we have to. Not because you're Nick's sister." explained Charlie. He knew how it felt when you thought people didn't honestly like you. Or when you thought they'd be better off without you. He saw so much of himself inside of you. It made his heart tighten with sadness and love.

You stared at them all, a few tears burning in the corners of your eyes. You coughed, trying to hide the emotion flaring up in you.

"You are part of this group if you want to Y/n." Charlie nudged you with his shoulder as if he had read your thoughts. You lifted hopeful eyes towards him. You felt as if your heart might burst with joy.

"I-"

"I'm not giving you any choice." cut Darcy out of the blue."You are part of the gang. Nothing you can do about it." she declared. As always, her unexpected comment had everyone laughing. You looked at her triumphant face, euphoria spreading in your chest.

You looked at your brother, who was already beaming at you, pride and joy mixed in that sweet expression. The tears in your eyes welled up and, against the better of you, softly dropped on your cheeks.

"Are these tears of joy...?" asked Isaac, speaking for the whole group. You had been through a lot tonight, and they had hoped their intervention would have made you happy. But they questioned if it had been too much, too soon.

You let out a soft chuckle. "Yes."

In a team effort, the whole gang jumped on you. Engulfing your body in an embrace of warmth, love, and laughter, a lot of laughter.

"I'm so sorry for being such a..."

You stopped mid-sentence when you felt a pinch on your arm, only to hear Nick whisper, "From now on, you are also banned from saying the 's' word. So shut it and enjoy." The whole group, including yourself, erupted in laughter.

There would be a lot of hardships coming in the next few days, but knowing you had them all made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you'd be able to weather it.

#ilya writes #nick nelson #nick nelson x twin sister!reader #nick nelson x sibling!reader #nick nelson x reader #paris gang x reader #heartstopper #heartstopper fic #nick nelson fic #nick and charlie #alice oseman #kit connor #joe locke #charlie spring

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bunnysnuff · 2 months ago

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Smile.

Pairing: Charlie spring x Ftm!reader x Nick Nelson. (Platonic).

Triggers; BULLYING!!! Name calling, bad ending.

Note: Guys, I did try my best with this. I am not very good with imagines and I done my best to write this with care. We need to protect our trans friends, family members and the community. I hope I have not offended anyone.🤍

Request.

Helpline.

—

The day had started out terribly for you, like most days at Truham. People had thrown out the usual slurs and taunts, mocking you for being trans. You did what you always did: you kept your head down, hoping to make it through without drawing more attention.

But today, something unusual happened. By sheer accident, or maybe bad luck, you found yourself locked inside one of the music rooms after lunch. What you didn’t expect was to see two boys in there with you—Nick Nelson and Charlie Spring. You had heard of them, of course; everyone knew Nick, the star rugby player, and Charlie, the boy who had come out as gay last year.

You hadn’t spoken to either of them before, but now the three of you were stuck together.

—

A few days before:

The room was silent at first. You weren’t sure what to say or if you should say anything at all. Nick was leaning against the piano, looking at his phone, while Charlie seemed to be fiddling with some sheet music, stealing occasional glances at you. It made you nervous, but not in the way the other students at Truham made you feel. This was different—like they were trying to understand you, not judge you.

“Hey, are you okay?” Charlie finally asked, breaking the silence. His voice was soft, and there was genuine concern in his eyes.

You froze for a moment, unsure how to respond. You didn’t want to open up about the bullying, not to strangers. You gave a small nod, hoping that would end the conversation, but Nick stepped in.

“I’ve seen you around. You’re... Y/N, right?” Nick’s tone was friendly, his smile warm.

You nodded again, unsure why they were suddenly interested in you. You had always tried to stay invisible, but here you were, stuck in a room with two of the most well-known students in school.

Nick and Charlie exchanged a look, and something unsaid passed between them. You felt like they knew. Knew you were bullied. Knew that you kept quiet to avoid it escalating. But instead of making it awkward, they slowly began to draw you into a conversation about random things—movies, music, favorite classes. They didn’t ask about the bullying or why you seemed so nervous. They just talked like normal people, and it made you feel... human again.

—

A few days later:

After what felt like an eternity, the janitor finally unlocked the door, apologizing for the mistake. You grabbed your things and mumbled a quick “thank you” before rushing out, embarrassed by the encounter. You expected that to be the end of it, but it wasn’t.

The next day, you noticed Nick and Charlie glancing your way during lunch, and later in the halls, Charlie gave you a small, encouraging smile. It was strange, but comforting.

—

A few weeks later:

As much as you tried to avoid attention, it felt like things were getting worse. The whispers became louder, and the pushing in the hallways became more aggressive. Maybe people had noticed Nick and Charlie being friendly to you, and it made them even crueler. You’d gotten used to taking it in silence—until one day, things crossed a line.

A group of older students cornered you after school, shoving you against the lockers. The usual insults came flying at you, but this time, one of them grabbed your binder and yanked it out of your bag.

“Look at this freak,” one of them sneered, waving it around. “Still pretending to be something you’re not, huh?”

You tried to grab it back, but they were taller, stronger. You felt tears stinging your eyes, but before they could fall, a voice interrupted the jeering.

“Oi! Leave him alone!”

It was Nick. And beside him was Charlie, both of them standing firm between you and the bullies. Nick’s expression was fierce, and he stepped forward, practically daring them to keep going.

The bullies hesitated. Nick was well-liked, popular, and built like a rugby player. They muttered something under their breath, tossed your binder to the ground, and walked off, shooting you dirty looks as they left.

Nick picked up the binder and handed it to you, his expression softening. “You okay?”

You nodded, but your hands were shaking. Charlie stepped closer, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder. “They’re not going to bother you again, okay? We’ll make sure of it.”

From that day on, Nick and Charlie didn’t leave you alone. At first, it was little things—Charlie walking with you between classes or Nick inviting you to eat lunch with them. But as the bullying continued, their protectiveness grew. Nick, in particular, found it hard to stay out of fights. Anytime someone threw a comment your way, Nick would step in, ready to defend you.

One day, you found him with a bruised knuckle after an altercation with one of the bullies. You were mortified that he was getting into fights because of you.

“You don’t have to do this,” you told him quietly. “I’m used to it.”

Nick frowned, shaking his head. “You shouldn’t have to get used to it. You deserve better.”

Charlie, always the quieter one, agreed. “We’ve got your back. You’re not alone anymore.”

“You can hang with us!” Nick smiled.

“We’re friends now.” Charlie reassured you.

And for the first time in awhile, you smiled.

#bunnysnuff writes✨#heartstopper imagines #heartstopper x reader #heartstopper season 2 #nick nelson #nick nelson imagines #nick Nelson x reader #nick Nelson x ftm!reader #Charlie spring #Charlie spring imagines #Charlie spring x reader #Charlie spring x ftm!reader #charlie spring x reader x nick nelson #Charlie spring x ftm!reader x nick Nelson

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bethaven · 9 months ago

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When I was fifteen I was very lonely. All my school friends were fine and all, but I somehow felt like noone really understood me. This is very normal for a teenager, and it’s also very normal for that teenager to seek attention somewhere else. At this time internet had just broke through for real and I did seek validation at music forums and communities. Finding other fans of my favourite band turned out to be a lifesaver, and something that'd change my life forever.

I met T through a forum for that fandom and we immidiately started talking, a lot. Endless chats about the band, our lives and general thoughts and feelings. She quickly became my best friend, even though we hadn't even met yet. She lived quite far away, but was originally from the same town as me, so when summer arrived she was there to visit family and we met for the first time. I can still see so clearly how our looks met in the middle of a crowd outside the mall, and we just ran into each other's arms. It was like coming home. During the upcomming days we went to the local amusement park and went on all the rides. I was very afraid of most of them before this, but with her I was so safe I just did it. I felt like I was growing up for real, becoming my own person and living my best life, just because she was there.

But, T was not okay. She was sick. Her mental illnes spiraled over the years and I tried everything to make her better. Because I definitely saw it as my duty to fix her, to help her, to dry away all the tears and change everything for the better. Grown ups didn't get it and they were just trying to make her do things she didn't want. I needed to be there. Living far away in all of this was hard, it came with a lot of worry between the messages and calls. I definitely didn't tell my parents exactly how far of T was, I was so afraid they wouldn't allow me to keep her in my life. By the time she was admitted to a home to get help I'd turned 18 and they couldn't say anything when i went to see her. I knew they were worried and didn't completely approve of our friendship, but they also knew that they couldn't stop us.

Our relationship was intense, deeply loving, complicated, amazing, important and inevitably short. After about five years together it fell apart, I can’t even really remember how. We'd crossed over from teens to young adults and somehow we needed something else by then. I see her face flash by on Facebook sometimes. I know she became a mother a few years ago, which always was her biggest dream. I hope she's ok and gets all she wished for. Part of me will always feel a bit torn by the fact that I wasn't able to fix everything and part of me knows that I couldn't.

All of this makes me think about Nick in Heartstopper and how he carries the weight of Charlie's mental illness on his shoulders. The feeling of having to be the one to fix everything, even though noone have demanded that of you. When the one you love have done so many amazing things for you, so you don't want them to suffer in any way and you're willing to do everything to fix all their problems. As Sarah Nelson tells her son; “Love can't cure a mental illness”. We should always be there for our loved ones, but neither them nor we should expect us to perform miracles. We and them need help.

I wish I knew this when I was a lonely teenager, and I wish for others in the same situation to get proper support and help.

No End was our song, which became painfull when it all fell apart. There was an end, there often is. But what we had was still mainly something good, I learned that I deserved good friendships full of love and I wouldn't be who I am today without her. T, this playlist's for you. Thanks for everything.

#heartstopper #alice oseman #charlie spring #osemanverse #nick nelson #nick x charlie #friendship #mental health #Spotify

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ao3feed-narlie · 28 days ago

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Nick Nelson's Guide to being the Perfect Supportive Straight Friend

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/ufTG26n by 52777766666 Nick Nelson is straight. His flatmate, Charlie Spring, is gay. After learning about Charlie’s complicated relationship with his sexuality, Nick takes it upon himself to help Charlie feel more comfortable with being out and proud, doing anything to encourage the boy slowly becoming his best friend to shed the shame and fear of his past and aiding him in having quintessential queer uni experiences. What did Charlie call him the night he accidentally came out to him, after they’d already spent a few weeks living together? Oh, yeah. Charlie said Nick was his supportive straight friend. Well, if a supportive straight friend was what Charlie needed to smile the way Nick couldn’t help but admire, Nick would be just that. - Or, 5 times Nick was the perfect ally to his adorable gay flatmate Charlie, and the 1 time he didn't want to be that anymore. Words: 2146, Chapters: 1/7, Language: English Fandoms: Heartstopper (TV), Heartstopper (Webcomic) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Tao Xu, Elle Argent, Isaac Henderson (Heartstopper), Tara Jones, Darcy Olsson Relationships: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - College/University, 5+1 Things, Friends to Lovers, Coming Out, Domestic Fluff, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Supportive Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Bisexual Disaster Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Gay Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Nick thinks he's just a super supportive ally, but he's actually just in love oops, Not Beta Read read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/ufTG26n

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #heartstopper #narlie #nick x charlie #nick nelson #charlie spring #narlie fanfic

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justasmallbloginabigklainefandom · 1 month ago

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Heartstopper season 3 thoughts

Overall: I really liked this season. It was a good balance between heavy shit and teens having fun. I think it's great that they are both real. It's what Geoff said as well: trauma shouldn't define anyway, but it also isn't just gone.

I was also surprised HOW MUCH this season covered. It covered all of book 4 AND 5 of Heartstopper. I admit that I think it may have been too much, as in, at the end it's almost hard to believe that the beginning is in the same season. That being said, I think they did a great job with covering a lot of the source material without it feeling too rushed (like with the Percy Jackson show). It is quite a feat to push the two books + new storylines for Tara, Darcy, Elle, Tao, Isaac, Imogen and Sahar in 4 hours. It IS clear that they get lesser screentime, and a lot happens off-screen, like Darcy's gender journey and Imogen and Sahar becoming closer, but it is what it is and I think it worked with the constraints. This does make me wish for longer seasons. This isn't a Heartstopper-only problem. This is a current-series-trend problem.

Then there's MICHAEL HOLDEN TIME. I kept going "When is it Michael Holden time?" and it WAS MICHAEL HOLDEN TIME. I do think that they maybe leaned a bit too hard on the comic relief side of Michael, but alas, most of his depth is from Solitaire and they skipped over that and I think he'll play a bigger role in season 4. Anyway. Jesus is here.

The only thing that bothered me- and I know this wasn't their fault- was the lack of Olivia Coleman. And I'm not necessarily talking about the Menorca storyline, but they just straight up ignored Sarah. It wasn't until episode 8 where they had the "oh shit, your mum is home" moment that she was even acknowledged. As in, a lot of important moments for Nick happened, but there wasn't even an implication that he talked to her about it off-screen. Maybe Nick could've mentioned her, as in, "Yeah, my mum said this" or "I talked with my mum about Charlie" or even "Mum asked if we have safe sex, so embarrasing!"

(Which, in hindsight, made the decision to move the Spring-Nelson dinner to last season so much better.)

OKAY, under the cut for my thoughts for each episode lol

1. Love

This episode is very much almost word-to-word the same as the comics and I ADORE it. That made the fact that they had Charlie denying that he has an eating disorder very powerful and it added a new interesting dynamic. On the other hand, the fact that Elle talking about trans people in Egypt and her heritage got deleted, was a bit sad. Luckily, Elle had other stuff to do. Tao and Elle were also great in this episode and I'm glad they keep the Tao thing going, since his fear of abandonment runs deep.

Tara and Darcy also got something new and I like the open communication. I'm glad to see Darcy growing in that regard. They are open to hear Tara's feelings.

And the part where Isaac came out was great, especially the part of the vocab session. I definitely relate to that. And I actually liked that even Charlie admitted to not knowing what aromanticism was, since yeah, that is very realistic. Even other queers sometimes don't know.

Also the I love you recreation is 10/10.

2. Home

Of course, Olivia Coleman isn't here. That is the big thing of this episode. I think they managed to fit aunt Diane in perfectly and Hayley Atwell did a great job. I also like that they made her a psychiatrist, so instead of Nick and Sarah looking up stuff at home, Nick gets advice from Diane directly. I think that was a smart choice.

Also: GET FUCKED DAVID. That's what I kept saying during this episode. I was so afraid David would just pop in, but no. I mean, unfortunately, this also meant that the line of David's girlfriend joining them on vacation is no longer applicable, but I think there is a valid reason for David to not go if it's only Nick and his cousins. And maybe David would have been included in Oliva Coleman were here. Sarah calling her son out would feel more appropriate than Diane calling out her nephew.

Speaking of mums, this is also the moment where Jane fights with Charlie. I am a bit sad they took Julio out, but Tori was still there to undermine her. It's also a good choice to then use that fight as an excuse as to why Charlie skips dinner. "It's not the food thing, it's mum!" Oh honey. They also upped Tori's role in the storyline, which I appreciate, and as I said, since Charlie denied his disorder before, him admitting to it in this ep felt extremely powerful.

Luckily, others have great guardians. DARCY'S GRAN IS BEST GRAN EVER. I liked that there was a moment of shock when she found out Darcy is a lesbian, but she immediately accepted it. It's what Darcy needed.

Tao also got more stuff about his dad. The camera ended up playing a huge role in the season and I'm glad Tao got to express his interests as well.

Isaac feeling left out also felt like a big relatable thing. I don't even have many couples in the friend group, but it is something I am afraid of. And because of it, I like that he is the one who reached out to Charlie, since in the comics, Aled is also one of the characters who seeks him out.

3. Talk

Tara's storyline continues. I get some Frances Janvier vibes of her. Everyone thinks they're encouraging her: her teachers, Darcy, her friends, her mum... but it only builds insane pressure.

The teachers are also officially dating and we all collectively lost it when COACH SINGH jump-scared them. I mean, yeah, they're still kissing in a car with windows.

I like the addition of the zoo, since it makes perfect sense for Charlie to sink thoughts into something for Nick in order to distract himself. I also like how the Paris Squad are genuinely friends, even outside of school. Tao was a dick and I'm glad everyone made it clear to him that he was the problem, not Isaac. When Elle said that Tao was mad at Charlie for the same thing... ROASTED.

And then Isaac came out and it was very well-done. I know Alice's own experiences with being aroace underlines Isaac's: Isaac needs to rethink who he was and what he wants and what future he'll get and that's scary. I particulary like that Nick said it's understandable to be scared. A lot of coming out stories focus on "how nothing changes, I'm still me", and that latter is true, but it IS a change and that can be scary. We also all lost it when Nick said he cried at the Am I Gay quiz.

4. Journey

And to top it all off, James is here. I kept wondering if James were coming back and I like that HE is the one who asked Isaac whether he's aro and Isaac's smile!!! We all yelled to the screen like "ISAAC DESERVED THIS!!!"

The talk was another 10/10 recreation.

Ah. The big one. The time jump. I like how they showed it from both Charlie and Nick's point of view. It clearly impacts the both of them in a different way.

A lot of side stuff also happens: Darcy cutting their hair, LADS LADS LADS, the Halloween party... honestly this ep was wild. (Also, lol, Shrek and Fiona costumes).

I particulary liked Charlie's POV. I liked meeting Susan and Geoff, and I noticed that Charlie's dialogue added that his family was able to afford inpatient care. Also, in the comics, Charlie seems way calmer about his diagnosis, but I think it fits him better that it stresses him out. AND Tao! I liked Tao's role in this ep, especially with his movie.

Which, by the way, we lost it at the sequence with the teachers. "Hi Charlie..... Bye Charlie....."

5. Winter

This Winter is always a book that I appreciate for its existence, but don't particulary like reading. Yet I think it was a great choice to adapt it, despite a lot of casual comics fans not reading it, because it does add a lot. It shows how it is for a person to deal with the outcomes of everything, and how insensitive people can be, albeit unintentional.

And it brought OLIVER. God, I missed him. I know why he isn't a Spring sibling, but still. Rip to Tori, Charlie and Oliver's actual third cousin Esther, but OLIVER.

We were also waiting for the introduction of Henry and it paid off! WE LOVE HENRY.

I also liked that they added Doctor Who. I found it so funny to hear 10 yelling "Donnnaaaaaaa!!!!" in the background.

And to my surprise, David was here. I know he's in This Winter, but since he wasn't in Menorca (GET FUCKED DAVID) I expected him to just not be here. He didn't sexually harass Tori, but he was definitely an ass about Charlie's illness. Yet, I find it very interesting that the show manages to sympathise with him. I think this is a strenght, same with last season. The "Call me when you get to Edinburgh." ".... Glasgow." line stayed with me for weeks. Same with how desperately I wanted Ben to enter the queer exhibition in last season. You don't have to like David, and I won't (GET FUCKED DAVID), but I think it's a smart choice to even show that the series' antagonists are human.

Trans sex is also an important storyline and I am glad they added it. I was already very 👀 when the trailer alluded to it, since it is so important to show this. I'm also glad Elle had Naomi to talk about it, although we were a bit confused to see Naomi and Felix at Harry's party. Well, we love to see growth, even from Harry Greene.

And of course, MICHAEL HOLDEN TIME. I was wondering how they were going to introduce him, since Solitaire got skipped over.

6. Body

Ah yes, the aftermath. I really appreciated how this show shows that trauma has a lasting impact. This episode has the famous Solitaire relapse, where Nick and Charlie fight. They glossed over it, but alas, they also skipped all of Solitaire. In the comics, Solitaire still happened, but it just relegated to a background thing. Here it just didn't happen, I guess, since Tori and Michael met at Harry's party and they still attend Higgs. I did like Michael's cat gift scene. I had a moment of "fuck yeah, that's him, that's Michael Holden!" MEOW.

Then there's Jack Maddox. He's just here. It's obviously just so that they could cast Jonathan Bailey. I am not mad about it. I didn't like the original side-comic, but this didn't really go into the jealousy part.

This episode also starts the sex storyline and the body image storyline. Charlie has an ED, his body is a sore spot, especially since he has scars. I think it's a strong choice to show his scars, and I know Alice has written about it when this part happened in the comic. It can be triggering, but I also agree that you cannot brush it off. And as Geoff said, the scars don't make Charlie ugly. I don't think Charlie has to love them, which is sometimes an approach that I see. But here there's no pressure to love and accept them. But they're there and that is fine too.

It's also cool to see how Charlie in turn uses what he's learnt for himself to help Tara.

Also, this is the episode where I got reminded that they upped the rating. Not because of the sex talk, but also because of all the alcohol and the return of the word "fuck".

Lastly, there is the interview storyline. That was rough. I had a hunch that it was going to go this way. I'm not sure if I am the person to judge whether it was good, but I think it is good to show awareness towards transphobic media. And if anything, I hope it helps people to see how incredibly supportive Elle's parents are.

7. Together

It's the horny episode. Ngl, as an sex-repulsed aroace... I don't have a lot to say. They have sex. Okay. Sure.

Tara and Nick's friendship deepens, though, and I really like that. I think Tara is also a fitting replacement for Sarah in the car scene, since it was less focused on comedy and more on the actual conversation about sexuality. I'm also glad we got to see Tara dance and Darcy be supportive. Their gender identity has mostly been a background thing, so I am glad they got at least this scene where they could talk a bit more about their journey. Tara and Darcy grew a lot when it came to communication and co-dependence.

That is also a thing for Nick and Charlie. Nick's storyline is now all about being his own person. I remember Alice being excited to delve into it when the comics were happening, because yes, of course Charlie's stuff impacts him deeply, but how is Nick?

And lastly, there was the big fight with Jane and Charlie. Jane's past is less in depth. In the comic, it's revealed she was hit by her mother and it's implied it happened regularly. I suppose this season already had too much heavy stuff and a storyline like that deserves more respect and attention, but its exclusion did surprise me a little.

Other little things: Sahar is still at Higgs. I didn't remember that, but it's true that Sahar didn't mention her transfer at the beach, like in the comic. Then there's the scene with little Farouk. I was afraid they had cut it, since in the comic, Farouk is the one who tells Charlie to apply, not Ayaji. But luckily it was still there, and now Ayaji was there to support him. Tao is also a great boyfriend and I have forgiven him of his season 1 crimes. Nick telling David to fuck off was great.

8. Apart

Sarah exists! Hooray!

Anyway, this is the big finale, which includes the uni tour ft. Imogen. I was a bit surprised about it, since the uni tour is such a big thing in the comics and I didn't expect them to manage to push it in one episode. It worked.

I'm glad Imogen got her moment to express her feelings. Again, the whole Imogen and Sahar thing was pushed to the back and slighly rushed. Maybe it will be expanded in season 4.

Also, lil nitpick, but the bandmembers of Queer Intentions do not look like their comic counterparts oops. I wish we had at least gotten their names.

I'm also glad that Charlie realising he needs more people. Again, the co-dependence got a big role and I'm glad both Nick and Charlie (and Tara and Darcy) work on it.

Then there's the big Tori ferris wheel scene. It did not go as planned. I am not gonna lie, it took me by big surprise that Tori didn't come out as asexual, but that being said, I do think it is the better choice to flesh it out in a later season. Since Solitaire didn't happen, the entire storyline of Tori and Michael needs to be reconfigured within the show's canon. I get why people were disappointed, but the scene would only make sense to comic readers and Solitaire readers. To viewers, it would come too out of nowhere and someone mentioned that it might come off as a "tick boxes for diversity" moment. Look, I know Tori is Alice's firstborn and no way in hell would Alice allow Tori to be that, but I have also been an avid Osemanverse fan since 2017. Not only that, but the show being different from the books/comics allows for an alternative Sprolden thing. I know Alice has expressed before that she sometimes regrets turing them in a romantic relationship. She doesn't hate it and has grown to like Sprolden, but back when it was being written it felt like it had to end this way, cause comphet.

I am not saying that they will not date in the series, I am just saying it is possible. There was also Isaac's Look(TM), which excites me a lot for this possible story. I cannot wait for Isaac and Tori to work this out together, and also to possibly go deeper into Michael's pansexuality. And yeah, maybe they won't date and it'll be more of a QPR situation. THIS IS HOW MISTER CAN STILL WIN IN 2024 #MISTER #MICHAELANDLISTER4EVA!!

One small thing: Tao being chill with long distance felt kind of... out of character? I assume Tao is just hiding his stress and disappointment about it.

And yeah, then Nick and Charlie had sex and they felt comfortable. Hoorah. I think it is a good way to end the series. In the comics, they talk about the uni tour afterwards, but this felt fitting for an ending. They can move the Leeds and long distance thing to the next season.

That's a wrap, folks.

#THIS TOOK DAYS LOL #lb 2024 #lb watching

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fandomstuff67 · 1 month ago

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New Beginnings

Calling all SPN and Heartstopper fans! I wrote a little crossover! Dean was dreading his eight a.m. Psychology class on the first day back after Christmas break, but when a study abroad student sits down next to him and they bond about their respective boyfriends, an early class suddenly doesn't seem so bad. Or Dean Winchester meets Nick Nelson and then Dean, Cas, Nick, and Charlie become fast friends. Read below or on ao3 wc: 3k

Dean sat down in Psychology 201, rubbing at his eyes and wishing it wasn’t eight a.m. Who even allowed classes to begin at eight in the morning? It should be illegal. He slumped in his seat, yawning and tried to will his eyes not to fall shut. Class was gonna begin soon and he really needed to actually try to pay attention, if he wanted a psychology degree by the end of his four years in Hell adjacent.

He was jolted out of his near-sleep when someone sat down next to him, which was kinda odd because the lecture hall wasn’t full yet, and he didn’t really have any friends in his major, so why the hell was someone choosing to sit next to him? He looked over at the guy, but he just gave Dean a half smile. It was warm, the kind of smile that makes you forget your problems for a few seconds. The boy had ginger hair and a freckled face and Dean noticed that he was kinda built like a linebacker.

“Uh, hey,” Dean said, tentatively, pushing himself up more in his seat.

The guy’s smile touched his eyes in a way that seemed to light up his whole face. “Hi.”

Dean was surprised to find that he was British. “Are you a freshman?”

The guy shook his head. “No, I’m not a first year. I’m just studying abroad for the semester.”

“Oh, cool,” Dean replied. “I’m a Sophomore.”

“I suppose you’d call me that, too.”

“I’m Dean.”

The guy smiled again and held out his hand. Dean took it. “Nick.”

“So, Nick, are you studying Psychology?”

Nick nodded. “Yeah. My boyfriend kinda inspired me, actually.”

Dean felt his body react to the word boyfriend, and Nick must’ve noticed his shift because his friendly expression seemed to drop into one of wariness. Come on, why did everyone think he was homophobic? Apparently, he was bad at expressing excitement when finding out someone was queer. He quickly threw on a smile. “That’s awesome, dude. I was just lucky that I managed to convince my boyfriend to come to the same college as me.”

Nick instantly relaxed. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, the nerd wanted to go to an Ivy League or something– not that he wouldn’t have gotten in, he’s like crazy smart– but I started waxing poetic about how we wouldn’t see each other and got him to settle for the slightly prestigious state school that you see before you.”

A sad expression came over Nick’s face, but he quickly shoved it aside. Dean knew that trick, he used it all the damn time. “You really are lucky.”

He felt the need to explain a little more, he didn’t actually want to come across as a dick who forced his boyfriend to attend the same school. “I mean, hey, he didn’t give up a dream or anything for me. I’d never have made him come to the same school as me. It just worked out. He’s studying Biology; he’ll probably cure cancer by the end of his time here.”

“What’s his name?” Nick asked.

Dean couldn’t help but smile. “Cas. What about yours?”

Nick seemed to match Dean’s smile. “Charlie.”

“Hey, that’s my best friend's name. Except she’s a girl, and a raging lesbian.”

Nick laughed. “Sounds like she’d fit in with some of my mates back home.”

The professor finally entered the hall and Dean opened up his notebook, digging for a pencil in his backpack. “So, what made you wanna study abroad?” he asked, lowering his voice to a whisper.

“Well, Charlie wanted to come here and I thought it might be fun to go with him.”

“Dude, your boyfriend is here?”

Nick nodded, his mouth in that half-smile again. “Yeah. Sorry, did I not mention that?”

Dean shoved at him. “No, you didn’t. You’ve just roped yourself into lunch with me and Cas, now that I have this new information.”

“Alright then,” Nick agreed. “I’ll tell Charlie.”

Nick pulled out his phone, shot off a quick text, and Dean watched his entire face light up when his phone buzzed not a second later with what must’ve been Charlie’s response. A moment later, the professor called the class together and Dean forced himself to try to actively take notes.

🍂🍂🍂🍂

Dean met up with Cas right outside the Hampshire Dining hall, easily sliding his hand into Cas’. “Hey,” he said, grinning.

“Hello,” Cas replied. “You’re in a good mood.”

Dean held open the door for him. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Well, I’m going to assume this new friend of yours is responsible for this. I can’t wait to meet him.”

“I think you’ll like him,” Dean said as he tugged Cas into the line for the grill. He really wanted a burger and fries.

Cas dropped his hand, though, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “I’m going to get sushi.”

“Lame,” Dean muttered. Cas just glared at him through narrowed eyes, shaking his head, and then walked away.

Once he had his burger, he found a table and kept an eye out for Nick. Cas joined a minute later and then Dean spotted Nick, hand in hand with a boy a little shorter than him. He had dark curly hair and he was laughing at something Nick said. Dean waved, trying to catch his attention; Nick saw him and waved back.

“That’s them,” Dean nodded in their direction.

Cas followed his gaze and offered a wave of his own. Nick pulled Charlie towards them and then stopped in front of the table. “Hi,” Nick said.

“Hey,” Dean replied. “Uh, Cas, this is Nick, and I’m gonna guess you’re Charlie.”

“Yeah, that’s me,” Charlie said.

“Nice to meet you, both,” Cas said.

“You too,” Nick replied. “We’re gonna go get some food, then be right back. Right, Char?”

Charlie picked at his fingers, fidgeting. “Yeah, I guess.”

Nick caught Charlie’s eye, ducking his head into his boyfriend’s space. “Charlie-”

“It’s fine,” Charlie said, and then he walked away.

Nick gave Dean and Cas a pinched smile. “I’ll just- we’ll be right back.”

“Wonder what that was about,” Dean said as he picked up his burger.

“Not our business,” Cas replied evenly, popping a sushi roll in his mouth.

Dean shrugged, chewing as he watched Nick catch up to Charlie. Nick said something that had Charlie pushing his way into Nick’s arms. Nick kissed the top of his head and then took his hand and led him off to one of the food stations.

When they returned, Dean was already almost done with his burger. Nick had some chicken dish and Charlie had a small bowl of salad. Cas began the conversation, his curiosity clearly piqued in the way he’d tilted his head to the side to scrutinize the poor guys. “So, what do you think about the college so far?”

“It’s pretty cool,” Nick replied, cutting into his chicken.

“Yeah, I mean we haven’t gotten to explore much yet but it seems really nice,” Charlie added.

“Well, me and Cas can totally give you a tour later if you want,” Dean offered.

“That would be great!” Charlie replied. “I was wondering about the Literature buildings.”

“Char’s majoring in Classic Literature,” Nick explained. “I think meeting Jack Maddox really had an impact.”

“Shut up,” Charlie said, playfully shoving at Nick.

“You’ve met Jack Maddox!?” Cas burst out, shocked.

“Yeah, are you a fan?” Charlie asked.

“Cas never shuts up about the guy,” Dean replied.

“Charlie’s the same,” Nick said. “Honestly, after meeting him I sort of got why.” Nick blushed just slightly while Charlie and Cas began an in depth conversation about classical literature that Dean couldn’t be bothered to listen in on.

Cas was minoring in Classic Lit, not that it would really help him in his biology degree, but the guy was taking so many courses anyway just for fun, that he was already compiling multiple subjects he could minor in. “So, Nick,” Dean said, “what kind of things are you into?”

“Well, I play rugby back home.”

“Awesome. I’ve never played it, but we do have teams here,” Dean replied, shoving a fry in his mouth. “I’m not really a sports guy; I could never do all that running.”

“Yeah, I’m going to be playing on the school team. But I’m really not that fast, not like Charlie,” Nick said. “You know, I roped him into joining the rugby team back home ‘cause he was a fast runner.”

Charlie jumped in, cutting off his conversation with Cas, “That’s why he said he wanted me on the team, but he really just had a crush on me.”

“Oh, like you didn’t have a crush on me, too?” Nick fired back.

“You guys are adorable,” Dean said.

Nick and Charlie blushed, but they wore matching smiles. “How did you two meet?” Charlie asked.

“High school,” Dean replied. “We were lab partners in chemistry, which sounds really cliche but… yeah. I mean, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was feeling for Cas for a while, but I got there in the end.” He smiled at Cas, tugging him in to kiss the top of his head.

“Yes, Dean went through quite a bit of gay panic-”

“Bi panic,” Dean corrected.

“Yes, apologies,” Cas huffed fondly.

“I know that feeling,” Nick said. “I had a proper crisis about it. But Charlie really helped me through it and I was finally comfortable enough to come out as bi.”

“That’s awesome. Cas and I had a lot of fights about being a couple at school,” Dean admitted. “It wasn’t exactly smooth sailing until maybe sophomore year. I had to leave my house; my Dad wasn’t exactly supportive, but Cas’ family let me stay with them.”

Charlie and Nick looked like someone had gutted them open. “I’m so sorry,” Nick said.

Charlie nodded in agreement. “We both got lucky that our parents were supportive.”

“Well, my Dad was more confused than he was supportive but I don’t have to see him more than twice a year,” Nick said. “And my brother was a right prick about it.”

“My Mom eventually kicked my Dad out,” Dean explained. “She wasn’t all that thrilled with my Dad’s attitude, and my younger brother threatened to leave the house too.”

Cas reached for Dean’s hand, squeezing gently. “But we’re here now.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, and my Dad is trying to be less of a dick. He’s not very good at it, though.”

“Being out is hard,” Charlie sympathized. “I was forced out at school and it was really bad for a while.”

Dean winced. “That sucks.”

“Yeah, no one should be forced out before they’re ready,” Cas said.

Nick smiled at Charlie. “I don’t think I’d have had the courage to do it without Charlie.”

“Yeah, me too, with Cas,” Dean agreed. “I dunno, I think I just lucked out with my extremely awesome boyfriend.”

Nick leaned across the table, conspiratorially. “Did you also cry at an am i gay quiz?”

Dean laughed. “Dude, so many times. I took that test like twenty times ‘cause I hoped the results would change, but they never did.”

Nick and Charlie were very easy to talk to, it was like they’d known each other for years. But Dean noticed that Nick also kept shooting glances at Charlie’s salad bowl every few minutes. Charlie was eating it slowly and Dean saw Nick’s hand tighten around Charlie’s in a silent encouragement.

“What do you guys think of the food?” Dean asked. “UMass Amherst is actually one of the best colleges in the country for food.”

“It’s really good,” Nick said.

“Yeah,” Charlie echoed, still poking at his salad.

Nick changed the subject, his posture turning a bit defensive. “What other classes are you guys taking?”

“I have a behavioral analysis class after lunch,” Dean replied.

“And I have a Lit class,” Cas answered.

“I have Lit after this too,” Charlie said, seeming to come back to the conversation.

“With Professor Russel?” Cas asked.

“Yeah!”

“Great, we can walk there together,” Cas offered.

“It’ll be nice to know someone in class,” Charlie beamed.

“I’m glad you’ll have Cas,” Nick said.

Cas glanced at the time on his phone. “We should actually get going.”

“Okay,” Charlie replied. He turned to give Nick a kiss. “I’ll see you after class.”

“Yeah, bye,” Nick said, smiling.

Dean pulled Cas in for a kiss of their own. “See you at the library later?”

“Of course, Dean.”

Charlie and Cas walked off and Dean leaned back in his chair. “I guess it’s just you and me. You know, I think our boyfriends are about to become best friends.”

“I think you’re right.”

Dean gathered up his plate and stood, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. Nick did the same a little slower. “So, uh, sorry if I’m like stepping over a line here or anything, but is Charlie okay? He seemed a little down, ‘course I don’t know him or anything so maybe that’s just how he is.” Nick froze and Dean quickly tried for damage control, “Sorry, I wasn’t- forget I said anything.”

“No, uh, it’s fine,” Nick said. “He’s just a little anxious about being in a new country.”

Dean could see the lie, but he didn’t call Nick out on it. “Yeah, I get that. It’s gotta be stressful.”

“Would you and Cas want to come hang out tonight?” Nick asked as they moved away from their table.

“Yeah, absolutely.”

“Great. Charlie and I are in Brooks Hall, room 217.”

“We’ll come by after dinner,” Dean promised.

🍂🍂🍂🍂

Dean only realized that he didn’t actually have Nick’s phone number when he and Cas were standing outside the residence hall. Luckily, someone was just leaving and they managed to slip inside. When they came upon room 217, Dean heard mild shouting coming from inside.

“I’m fine, Nick!”

“No, you’re not! We talked about this, you have to tell me when things are bad. I don’t want you to relapse again.”

There was silence and Dean heard Charlie sigh heavily. “I’m sorry.”

“Char,” Nick’s voice was a warning.

Charlie laughed, it sounded a little watery. “I can say the S word when it’s about something like this.”

“No, actually, you can’t. I make the rules about the S word. Come here… I’m just worried about you. If it’s too much we can go home.”

“No, no, I want to be here. I’m glad we’re here. Together. I promise I’ll try to be better about eating.”

“Good.”

Dean exchanged a glance with Cas, not sure if they should leave or not. Cas made the decision for him by knocking on the door. A moment later, Nick opened the door. His eyes were a bit red rimmed, but he still smiled. “Hi.”

“Hey, you guys okay?” Dean asked.

Charlie came up behind Nick, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. “Yeah, we’re good.”

“Sorry, we kinda overheard you arguing a bit,” Dean said as they stepped aside to let them in.

Charlie’s face dropped a bit. “Oh.”

“It’s not our business,” Cas added. “But it did sound serious.”

“We’re okay,” Nick replied. “We don’t really argue all that often, but when we do it doesn’t last long.”

“Wow, you guys sound healthy,” Dean commented. “Me and Cas stay mad at each other for weeks before we actually talk.”

Nick stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “Why wouldn’t you want to address a problem immediately? How else would you fix it?”

“Because Dean’s allergic to emotions,” Cas replied, deadpan.

“Hey!” Dean protested. “You once ignored me for three days because I didn’t say I love you back when I was drunk !”

“I wasn’t mad at you for that,” Cas replied. “You’d also told people we were ‘just friends’ at that party.”

Dean ducked his head, guilty. “I said sorry for that.”

“I know,” Cas pulled Dean into his side, kissing his temple. “And I guess I forgive you, but only because you announced our relationship to the whole school over the loudspeaker.”

“I couldn’t imagine not being honest about what I’m feeling,” Nick said.

“I’m not that great at it,” Charlie admitted. “But Nick helps me.”

“Yeah, we really should work on our communication, shouldn’t we?” Dean replied.

“It is a fairly important part of any relationship,” Cas agreed.

“I’m working on it,” Dean muttered. It wasn’t his fault that his father passed on his emotionally stunted personality to Dean.

“Do you guys like Mario Kart?” Charlie asked, moving over to turn on the TV, effectively ending their conversation.

“Hell yeah,” Dean said. “Not to brag, but I’m pretty good.”

“Charlie beats everyone ,” Nick said as he grabbed the controllers. “He won’t even let me win!”

“If I let you win, how would you learn how to beat me on your own?” Charlie quipped.

“Shut up,” Nick laughed.

The four of them settled on the floor and the game started up. Nick had been right, Charlie was good. Dean managed to squeak by in second place, leaving Nick to get third and Cas last.

“I’ve never been good at these things,” Cas sighed.

“It’s the one thing he’s not good at, actually,” Dean said playfully.

“Nick’s good at everything, it’s kind of annoying,” Charlie pouted.

“Clearly not, ‘cause you still beat me at Mario Kart!” Nick replied, shoving at him.

The night passed in friendly conversation and a lot of Mario Kart (of which Charlie won every game). Dean found himself relaxing into the little moments, leaning up against Cas as they talked about dealing with homophobia and bullying. It was nice to finally have a pair of friends whose experiences were similar to his own, Cas’ too. Nick and Charlie seemed to think so too, and Dean was certain they were going to be good friends throughout their stay in the states.

When they said goodnight, Dean leaned into Cas as they walked back to their own dorm. “So, if we’re gonna try communication, then I’ve got a few things to bring up,” he said tentatively.

Cas blinked at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, but we can talk about it tomorrow.”

Cas chuckled, wrapping his arm around Dean. “Okay, Dean.”

Dean smiled, content. He was pretty sure this was going to be his best semester at college yet.

Tag list (ask to be added or removed)

@hellerstiel @tearsofgrace @quxxnxfhxll @rebelangel67 @professorerudite @adsdragonlover @wantstoflyafraidtofall @sunshinecorvid @casgetoutofmyass0907 @nguyenxtrang @destielskygalaxypalace @ivydean @cantsleepanything @casthyelle

#supernatural #heartstopper #spn #dean winchester #castiel #Nick Nelson #Charlie Spring #destiel #Nick/Charlie #my writing #crossover #spn heartstopper crossover

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retrieve-the-kraken · 1 year ago

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Heartstopper season 2 play-by-play analysis

Still in Paris, and things get haute in different ways. Between Nick and Charlie, between Nick and Ben, between Tara and Darcy, and between Tao and Elle (ooh la la). A lot of healthy communication, a lot of bold attempts at communication, and a few plot twists.

On with l'episode!

EPISODE 5 - HEAT

- Poor Nick double-texted his dad, and no reply. Do better, Stephane.

- “Did I do that?” “I didn’t even know how to do that.” Well, you know now, Nick.

- Tao freaking out at Nick for giving Charlie a hickey. “We will be having words”. Will Gao’s facial expressions are peak comedy.

- “I blame Nick entirely.” “That’s fair.” I love how casual Nick is, like “yeah, my mouth did that, no doubt about it, guilty over here”.

- Elle, you can't just go around being lovely and flawless and stylish like that... ugh, you need to staaahp...

- “It wasn’t just his fault, I was also involved.” “Uuuuuurgh, no need for gory details”. He’s such a dad! Tao, this is your fault for leaving the room, you shouldn’t have trusted your children to keep their hands off each other.

- I’m amused by the performative teasing from the straight boys, who are all probably a bit jealous because they are nowhere near getting or giving hickeys, so…

- You know who is more than a bit jealous? Ben in the back there, staring longingly. Like he really doesn’t care that he got called out last night for his starkly obvious obsession with Charlie, or getting dumped for it, because he’s still not entirely discreet about it.

- Nick is definitely the boyfriend that carries all the things. “I’ll pack you a croissant.” That’s an ‘I love you’ right there. Nick is the acts of service boyfriend.

- A lot of green today too, on Charlie’s sweater, and Nick’s t-shirt, and Tao’s butterfly print (of course he’s wearing butterflies), and Jame’s jacket.

- Poor James being dragged into it. Which is worse when you find out that he used to have a crush on Charlie. I love how he tells all the boys “it wasn’t me”, and they just stare at him as neutral as possible, because they all obviously know who it was.

- Benny Ben, what was that look? Are you reaching your breaking point? Meanwhile, Imogen looking fresh and cute, we love to see it. Also Charlie looks extra cute today too, green suits him very much, but also his curls are like perfect (yeah, we’re all obsessed with Charlie, Ben. You’re nothing special, Ben.)

- What the hell is this system that the teachers used to assign the couples? Very random but also very convenient. It was probably Mr Farouk wanting to watch some drama unfold. He knows Ben and Nick don’t like each other, and he’s just stirring the pot.

- “Sir, I don’t wanna go with Nick Nelson.” “I don’t give a rat’s arse, rude boy.” Mr Farouk is a legend. And Imogen watching, very satisfied that Ben doesn’t get his way.

- Love Isaac calling out Harry, and love that he actually got through to him, and we’re all here for it. “Where’s your basic human empathy?” “Leave it out, book boy.” I love that the only thing he could come up about Isaac at that moment is his love of books, like it’s an insult…? Didn’t expect to get called out, and by book boy of all people, did you, Harry?

- James interrogating Charlie about Isaac. Heart.

- And Tara attempting again to talk to Darcy about feelings, and Darcy deflecting left and right. Poor Darcy, she’s so stressed about it.

- Here’s one of the very few things that didn’t quite click with me in the expansion of the Ben storyline, but it actually might fit perfectly with him and the way that we have seen him before. He’s so preoccupied with Charlie or Nick outing him, and he wants to appear so tough, that he doesn’t realize that he might be the one blowing his own cover. In his conversations with Nick, he’s so loud when he says that Nick is just jealous because Charlie liked him first, or that he might want Charlie back, that I kept thinking “either something’s going to happen with this, or they expect me to believe that he’s being discreet”, but maybe it was the latter. Or maybe it’s, as I mentioned before, that Ben has been so preoccupied with the idea that people might be paying attention to him all the time, which resulted in him being an asshole to Charlie, only for all of that to crumble now.

- “What if I said that I want Charlie back?” The way that Nick closes his eyes, like he’s so tired, he’s so done with Ben. He keeps blaming Nick for what happened with Charlie, and he keeps making excuses, and keeps comparing himself to Nick, and it must be so stressful for Nick, to have to deal with that on top of everything else, on top of the hickey, on top of everyone talking about Charlie, and on top of his own stress about coming out.

- “At least I was nice enough not to give him a hickey where everyone could see.” The thing about this comment from Ben is that, not only is he comparing his relationship to Charlie with Nick’s relationship to Charlie, but he still thinks that, like him, Nick won’t come out and his goal is to continue the relationship in secret. So Ben somehow rationalizes that he was a better choice of partner for Charlie because he “managed to keep the secret” (which he didn’t, really, because Nick caught them, and in the worst scenario). Meanwhile he’s still choosing to ignore all the other reasons why he was absolutely not a good partner for Charlie. Or Imogen. Or anyone.

- Did Heartstopper also manage to shut down the Eiffel Tower??? Well done, production team.

- Tara being a doll and holding Imogen’s hand because Imogen is scared of heights (or something like that). That whole Eiffel Tower scene was flawless.

- “Let’s get a selfie for my mum.” “She’s gonna love that.” He’s such a mamma’s boy, love him for that.

- The “Hey Nick, is that hickey from you then?” “What if it was? You jealous?” scene going directly from page to screen flawlessly.

- “Did Harry just stick up for us?” “I think he did.” Yes, he did, and you have life coach Isaac Henderson to thank for that.

- “You, um, you do know… it was me, right?” Then glances down at Charlie’s lips… Good job, Nicholas, top rate flirting on the Eiffel tower, Nicholas.

- I do like that they changed from Aled (or in this case Isaac) telling Charlie that Tao outed him, and instead having Tao own up to it himself. It’s probably been sitting with him for so long, and the reason why he’s so protective, and why he lost his shit that morning about the hickey, because much like Tori, he worries about Charlie being bullied again, but he’s also feeling so guilty about it. But that whole conversation about their friendship, and the little flashback to them being kids, ugh, so adorable.

- “Even if you make mistakes sometimes, you’re a good person who deserves love”. Ugh Charlie, my precious.

- Also, how cute that we’ve gotten Nick and Tara and Charlie and Tao childhood flashbacks so far, and I wonder if we’ll get more (I don’t know how these things are handled, if any one can share, because I’m assuming that, if we got a flashback to Elle as a younger child, she would be presenting as a boy… how would that be handled? What about the name? But I’d love to see a Darcy flashback, an Isaac flashback, a Tori flashback, an Imogen flashback, a Sahar flashback… the possibilities are endless now…)

- Love them, love their friendship, love how friendships are given the same importance as romantic relationships. And I love how secure in his sexuality Tao is, that he will hug and kiss Charlie and not worry about what people might say.

- Give me more Darcy being confused about her expectations vs reality. “Are we really underwater? Then why can’t we see any fish?” “That’s the Mona Lisa??? That’s it? It’s rubbish!!! It’s this big…” “I’d be so mugged off if I posed for a painting and they just painted the back of my head…”

- I love how Elle internalizes what Nick said, and what Imogen said the day before, and just realized that her and Tao don’t need to be perfect or long term, but if she doesn’t take the chance she will never find out. So she just goes for it.

- “He genuinely thinks he still has a chance of getting back with you.” “He doesn’t.” I’m sad that Charlie sounded so reassuring and relaxed, but he was already trying to hide that he was starting to feel weak and ill.

- Either Charlie called Nick much louder, or that’s just how in tune with him Nick is all the time. And anyone who’s ever fainted knows what it feels and sounds like, and it’s exactly like this. Also the feeling of regaining consciousness and feeling absolutely disoriented, and like you can’t hear well… horrible.

- I love the little homage to The Princess Diaries, with Elle’s foot popping up. And they really are the most stylish couple.

- The teachers, oh my god‼! Mr Farouk humoring Mr Ajayi by doing the pose perfectly. And then Mr Farouk holding out for a fist bump and him actually smiling.

- "I want to understand." Nick fucking Nelson really set the bar way too fucking high for all teenage boyfriends.

- "You are not rejecting the croissant that I lovingly carried for you all day." Heart.

- Also Nick teasing Charlie for blushing about Nick speaking French.

- I loved the live-action playing out of Nick teasing Charlie and pushing him to the floor. With the grumpy French guard (who apparently is played by director Euros Lyn) being like “no hanky-panky in the museum!”

- Actually they’re both setting the bar way too high for teenage relationships, with their healthy communication and their caring so much about each other. Aspirational.

This episode is brought to you by Mr Farouk's sass. (Not a registered trademark... yet).

#heartstopper #heartstopper season 2 #heartstopper play-by-play analysis #heartstopper analysis #nick and charlie #tao and elle #tara and darcy

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thanks--for--listening · 1 year ago

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it was easier to feel nothing (than it was to make sense of it all)

throwback to august when i promised my cousins I would write them heartstopper fluff. I am months late and have come up with something a little too depressing to be properly called fluff but idk what I expected when I made tori spring the main character.

set during season 2 right after tori finds out they're gonna tell people, and its kind of like a prequel to solitaire but you don't have to have read solitaire to understand the fic. you just have to love tori spring. and don't we all?

(also on ao3).

Tori Spring had every intention of spending the entire night in her bedroom. Alone. While her brother socialized like a well-adjusted teenager, she’d have her headphones on, the door closed, with the only light coming from the moon outside her window and the computer screen in front of her. It was how she spent most nights. It was how she spent most days, as well.

How she found herself sitting on the top of the stairs, then, remained a mystery.

She couldn’t quite make out their conversations from her perch, but she could hear the ease with which his friends spoke. The laughter was loud and infectious, made up of more voices than she could distinguish. Their joy was collaborative.

In spite of her general opposition to clamor and commotion, it wasn’t the noise that kept her up. Drowning out the world was her specialty. It was perhaps the one thing she did better than anybody else.

No. What was keeping her up were all of these fucking feelings.

Her brother was happy. That should have been the only feeling. Charlie was downstairs, with his friends, and his boyfriend, and he was happy, and he was okay, and that should have been enough. That should have been everything.

But she remembered the quiet nights. The ones when no one came over. When she used to lean against their shared wall and search desperately for any break of silence, any proof that he hadn’t simply faded away. Tori hardly slept back then; she couldn’t risk missing something important. She couldn’t miss him needing her.

The loud ones weren’t much better. Drumsticks hitting practice pads over and over and over again, barely hanging onto anything that could remotely resemble a rhythm. The sound haunted her. There were nights where she swore she could still hear it, the constant thud on repeat, and relief wouldn’t come until she’d carefully pushed open his door and confirmed that no music was being made in the early hours of the morning.

Even now, when the increased volume was proof of improvement rather than regression, she couldn’t help but hold her breath. Couldn’t fight the urge to double check.

Maybe that was why she’d come out here. Maybe she had to make sure the tide wouldn’t turn again.

Except that was ridiculous. Charlie had friends. Friends who knew him. Friends who had watched darkness envelop him, who witnessed the battles he fought every day, the ones he tried to hide behind a smile and quiet demeanor. They had seen it all, and every time, they held him closer rather than run away. They were not afraid of the dark.

Tori wondered what that felt like. What it cost.

He also had Nick Nelson. Nick Nelson, who he was madly in love with. Nick Nelson, who was one of the most popular boys at his school. Nick Nelson, who was going to start telling people.

She didn’t hate Nick. Truly. It was actually absurd how happy he was making Charlie in the short amount of time they’d spent together. But he wasn’t there last year. He didn’t understand the scope of how utterly horrendous school was for him when everybody found out.

Tori had a feeling she only knew a portion of it. The thought of it having been worse than it appeared, of him keeping the depth of his torment from her, made her stomach twist and her skin crawl. Every second she spent speculating brought the walls tighter and tighter, until there was no air left to breathe, until the only images she saw when she closed her eyes were every possible way he could be hurting.

She had nightmares. Vivid, vicious dreams of him bleeding out from wounds she couldn’t see. He would look up at her, begging for salvation, and she was never fast enough to fix it. Never strong enough to help.

Tori woke in cold sweats every time. It was like her body couldn’t understand that what she’d seen was not her reality. She’d spend days after the fact just watching him, searching for red flags, for reasons to sound the alarm. It required all of her attention, all of her energy. The simple act of existing became entirely unimportant when he may have been suffering.

So yes, she was happy her brother was happy. She was thrilled. But she was also terrified. And perhaps a bit irritated that, of all the boys he could have possibly fallen for, Charlie chose the one who would inadvertently put him directly into the social spotlight once again.

And then there was the envy.

Not toward Nick and Charlie. She didn’t care much either way for relationships. But sitting up here, it reminded her how easy it was for other people to be happy. How effortless it all seemed.

Her own friends hadn’t been over in ages. She couldn’t remember when she’d stopped inviting them. Now that she had, starting up again was too daunting of a prospect. She wouldn’t know what to do with them. How to keep them entertained. How to explain why her bedroom walls were bare, or why she spent all of her free time being miserable on the internet, or why she couldn’t finish a movie in one sitting even though all she ever did was sit in her bedroom and watch movies.

Listening was simpler. At lunch, she could let them talk around her instead of to her, and take her adjacency to conversation as a win. Nobody expected anything from her that way. The logic was a little dramatic, perhaps, but it was sound: if she never tried, she never failed.

Even now, with his lot instead of hers, this was still the best she could do. She could sit up here, out of sight but not quite out of earshot, and pretend that observing joy was the same as feeling it. That it was enough.

The guilt hit her again. She was so selfish. Charlie finally had things going his way, and she managed to make it all about her. It was probably best if she just stayed upstairs all night. She didn’t deserve to bear witness to his successful social life, let alone reap the benefits of it.

Tori raised the volume on her computer, until the movie she had playing was loud enough to hurt. Only then could it drown out the thoughts running rampant in her mind. Only then could she properly exhale.

It was easier to feel nothing than it was to make sense of it all.

“Tori!”

Charlie came barreling up the stairs, as if thinking about him had been a kind of summoning. She wasn’t sure how many times he’d called her name, only that she hadn’t heard him until he was nearly on top of her.

Tori pulled her headphones out. “Yes?”

“What are you doing out here?”

“Keeping track of which one of your friends is the loudest,” she lied. “Darcy is winning.”

His face fell slightly. “Are we being too noisy? I can tell everyone to quiet down if you’re trying to watch something.”

“I’m not very invested in it. Feel free to yell to your heart's content.”

“In that case,” he said, mischievous smile replacing his look of concern. “You’ll be happy to know we’re getting ready to play Taboo.”

She gave him her own wicked grin back. Game nights weren’t the most frequent occurrence in the Spring household anymore, but back in their heyday, she and Charlie had been unstoppable at Taboo. Her parents had considered banning the game altogether, or forcing them to play on different teams, but they never followed through on their threats.

Tori suspected that was on her account. They hadn’t given up the fight to keep her out of her bedroom back then. They’d been willing to suffer defeat after defeat if it kept her at the kitchen table. Lose battles to win wars, and whatnot.

Although, she supposed they’d still lost that war in the end. Not that they seemed to care.

“I’m sure you and Nick will do your best. He’s got that competitive rugby spirit.”

“I’m not playing with Nick.”

“Oh. Tao, then?”

Charlie shook his head. “Tao’s a horrible partner. He can’t get his thoughts out fast enough, and when he does, they’re all obscure references to things only he knows.”

“Then who—“

“I want to play with you.”

He said it with a different kind of smile. Gentle and eager. It made him look young, much younger than her.

She forgot, sometimes, that they were peers. That her baby brother was just a grade below her. He’d told her once, ages ago, when they were still in primary school, how much he loved his birthday. It wasn’t because of the presents, or the party — it was because it meant he had caught up. He liked when they were only a year apart. Said she was too far away during the few weeks in April between her celebration and his, when she was technically an extra year older than him.

Tori had hated her own birthday ever since.

The rest of the world didn’t seem to notice the gap. People used to think they were twins when they were little. There seemed to be nothing they loved more than to see if their assumptions were correct. The two of them got stopped all the time: in grocery stores, at the park, at school events. Sometimes in their own neighborhood.

They didn’t even look all that similar. He’d always been tanner than her, his hair wavier even before it properly curled, and she’d been taller back then by at least an inch or two. But something about them flagged random adults to stop, and stare, and sometimes coo, and constantly, incessantly ask.

Charlie had never been a very good liar. It wasn’t in his nature. But he always said yes.

Fooling a stranger used to be her favorite feeling in the world. She’d spend the rest of the day walking around with the kind of pep that was ridiculously uncharacteristic. Not because they were getting away with a lie, but because, for a few blissful seconds, it was true. Or, at least, it felt true. She could embrace the act of pretending they were the same. Imagining the world where they were actually twins, going through every part of their lives side by side, hand in hand. Where they were never alone. Most of her daydreams used to be dedicated to that reality.

Sometime during the last few years, she’d stopped. They say twins understand each other on a level that’s hard to describe. That when one of them hurt, the other could feel it. She was pretty sure that wasn’t true. But, just in case, she decided it was good that they had a buffer year between them. That way, she could protect him from her insufferable morbidity. She could keep him out of her head. Even if it meant she had to be kept out of his.

“What about the others?” She finally asked.

“Everyone’s partnering up. We’re going to change every round to see which pairings are the best. But I already know it’s going to be us.”

“No, I mean — wouldn’t you rather play with one of them? They’re your friends.”

“So are you.”

His voice was steady, brimming with a quiet kind of confidence. It was one she’d only recently started to notice. His hands weren’t fidgeting, and his eyes were making direct contact with hers, and he wasn’t shifting his weight back and forth.

It dawned on her that she was wrong. She blinked and the youth she’d seen earlier vanished, replaced with a bravery and certainty that felt much beyond both of their years. It wasn’t his birthday, but nonetheless, here he was, catching up. Growing up.

She knew it wasn’t just a consequence of having a proper boyfriend. It wasn’t even due to his friends downstairs, although both played a part. No, something inside Charlie had shifted. Gone was the paralyzing doubt and self-hatred. For the first time, her brother was walking headfirst into a life he wanted. There was no more waiting for permission or hiding in shadows; he was moving forward without an ounce of hesitation.

And she was standing completely still.

“Alright. I’ll play.”

Charlie beamed and held his hands out. She let him pull her up and drag her down the stairs.

When they walked into the family room, his friends all excitedly said her name. Like they were genuinely happy to see her. Tori didn’t fully believe them— her attendance anywhere was no cause for celebration— but they didn’t sound fake, either. It made it very difficult to draw a logical conclusion about them and their intentions.

Everyone was already sitting in pairs. She’d expected a certain kind of coupling, but instead it was all jumbled up. Tara was with Isaac, Darcy was with Elle, and Nick was with the newer girl, Imogen. Tao, hovering near the end, kept giving Elle and Darcy weird looks. Or maybe it was just Elle. She wasn’t entirely sure, nor did she really care.

It took her a second to realize that he was the only one without a partner. Tori wondered why Charlie would bring her down here, would purposefully mess up their nice even number, just so they could play together. It didn’t make sense. He wasn’t that competitive.

She scanned the crowd again, looking for something specific this time. But nobody gave her that pitiful look. The isn’t it sad she doesn’t have any friends? look. The being alone couldn’t possibly be a choice look. The something must be very wrong with her look. Nobody focused on her long enough to, except Charlie, and he was the only person who had never seen her the way the rest of the world did.

“Elle and I will go first!” Darcy said much louder than necessary. Tori sat and watched the two of them try and make their way through the deck of words that required guessing, with Tara looking over Darcy’s shoulder to make sure she didn’t use any of the forbidden hints.

They got three. It was a pitiful showing. The group applauded anyway.

Tara and Isaac went next. They got a respectable six. Tori quietly clapped with the rest of the group.

Nick and Imogen got four, sneaking the last one in as the final grains of sand spilled down their plastic hourglass timer. They celebrated as if it was a game-winning buzzer beater, which would have been more appropriate had they actually gotten a higher score than Tara and Isaac.

And then it was their turn.

They sat on opposite sides of the coffee table. Tori held the cards, Charlie awaiting her clues. He had always been the better guesser. He knew what she meant, even when she was speaking nonsense.

Tori looked at him before they started, just to see if there was one thing he hadn’t outgrown yet. She was both pleased and slightly distressed to find that there was. He still stared at her with stars in his eyes; she still did her best to earn them.

Imogen flipped the timer over, and Tori grabbed her first card.

They didn’t miss a beat. It had been at least two years since they’d played, but they picked up right where they left off. She spoke quickly, and he read her mind, and soon she had amassed a pile of cards to her right.

By the time Nick told them time was up, the pile was up to nine. Not their record, but a solid start considering they were incredibly out of practice.

His friends acted as if they’d literally won an Olympic medal. Darcy was screaming, and Nick was playfully shaking Charlie’s shoulders. Tao was loudly claiming that whoever teamed up with him had better bring their A game, but Tori knew it would be a wasted effort.

She fought the urge to smile. It was much more difficult than usual.

They went another three rounds, with everyone except her and Charlie switching partners. Tao was, as Charlie had predicted, the worst of the bunch. Isaac and Elle had been a surprisingly successful group, but they’d only managed to get eight. Tara and Darcy kept laughing instead of guessing, but neither seemed to mind walking away with a measly one.

She and Charlie ended the night with a high score of twelve. He reacted with unusual, exaggerated excitement, likely embracing the chaos of his friends. The others gave her the same treatment — Darcy playfully slapped her on the back, and Elle gushed about how good she was, and it was all so strange that Tori had to constantly fight the urge to run back up to her bedroom where she knew how things worked.

Eventually, once it became incredibly obvious that no pairing was going to beat the two of them, they switched gears into debating what film to watch.

Tori took that as her cue. As quickly as she could, she snuck out of the family room and made her way to the kitchen. It was quieter in there. She could hear herself think.

She wasn’t entirely sure that was a good thing.

Currently, her thoughts were telling her not to get used to this. That it was easy, when Charlie was holding her hand, carefully walking her through the whole night, to pretend that she was normal. That she was unbroken. But she knew that was all it was: pretend.

These were good people. Good friends. But they weren’t hers.

Not that she wished otherwise. His friends were too intense. She wasn’t cut out for this much energy, this constant back and forth conversation. Outside of a few impressive rounds of Taboo, she offered nothing to this group.

She couldn’t stop from thinking about her own lot, though. Becky and all the other girls she sat with at school. If she offered Charlie’s friends nothing, she knew for certain that she gave her own even less.

Tori had thought avoiding failure was the ultimate goal. That it would be enough to technically be part of them, even if Becky was the only one she’d ever truly considered a friend. She’d never be loud and rambunctious, never be the one to throw the parties or sleepovers, never be the center of attention. She’d understood that. Hell, she’d embraced that.

But if tonight had shown her one thing, it was how much she was missing. Her friends weren’t like Charlie’s. They were drastically different, in both the big ways and the small ones. They didn’t watch out for each other. They didn’t laugh like them. They didn’t give each other anything, besides basic conversation and a way to avoid being alone in public.

Over the course of an hour, every one of Charlie’s friends had their needs met. It wasn’t an accident. It wasn’t some random coincidence. It was thoughtfulness. A consequence of all of them knowing each other so intensely. So intimately. Tori doubted they were even aware they were doing it.

Darcy got to be loud. Tara got to let go. Elle got to impress, Tao got to entertain, Isaac got to tune in and out as he so pleased. Even Imogen got to be embraced by a crowd. And Nick and Charlie got to be themselves, unabashedly and unequivocally.

What did she get? What did she give?

They would leave. Her friends would wake up one day and realize how little she mattered to their social ecosystem, and they’d go searching for someone else to take her place. It wouldn’t be difficult, either, because she was nothing more than a glorified shadow: dark and silent and always half a step behind.

Being left should have scared her. And it did, in a way, but it was like the feeling was muted. She knew what was coming, and some part of her wanted to avoid it, but she couldn’t get herself to care enough to try. She couldn’t act.

If this was a movie, she knew what it would look like. She’d be sitting alone on a runaway train. The audience could see it was going to crash. She could see it was going to crash. The collision was miles away, a blocked tunnel made entirely of brick, but it was inevitable. Her situation looked dire at first glance, except they weren’t moving very fast. In truth, they were hardly moving at all. The doors were wide open, the ground a safe distance below. All she’d have to do to save herself was jump. Nothing and no one was stopping her. But she just sat and stared straight ahead. Perfectly content to be crushed.

She didn’t know how long she’d been on board this metaphorical train. Maybe forever. Maybe her whole life had been spent sitting still in this pathetic seat, and everyone who’d ever come and gone had simply been taking a ride to their own destination. Maybe they couldn’t see the end. But she could.

Charlie wouldn’t understand. Neither would his friends. They all felt everything. Each high and low and shade in between, each victory and loss. It was how they’d managed to hold onto all that energy. They were constantly moving, fueled by endless emotion.

Tori felt absolutely nothing.

Her friends would probably leave after graduation. Cut their losses and start new. The thought should have upset her. But she’d already accepted it. She’d sit alone. The train would crash. The credits would roll.

God, she was insufferable. It was a wonder anyone tolerated her at all.

Reaching for the fridge, Tori grabbed the Diet Lemonade. Maybe if she drank enough of it, she could drown the voice in her head before she went back upstairs. That usually worked. She might even sleep tonight.

When she shut the door and turned around, Isaac was there, sitting at the kitchen table, book in hand.

“Jesus Christ,” she gasped.

He looked up. “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “Only fair that I learn what that feels like, I suppose.”

“Huh?”

“What are you doing in here?” She asked. “I thought you guys were watching a movie.”

“We are. Or, we will be. It’ll take them at least twenty minutes to decide. I figured I could steal a bit of quiet while they did.”

“You don’t want to help choose?”

He held his book up. She recognized it, but— as was the case with most titles — hadn’t read it. “I probably won’t watch much of it, to be honest.”

Tori, in a feat of considerable strength, held her opinion on books and their secondary nature to films to herself.

“Will you watch with us?” Again, the way he spoke surprised her. There was no hesitation. No undertone that the answer should absolutely be no. It was just curiosity. Sincere, legitimate curiosity.

“Probably not. Your friends are very loud.”

Isaac chuckled. “Yeah. I don’t blame you for needing a break.”

“How do you manage it?” She wasn’t sure where the question came from, but she regretted asking almost immediately. Hearing it back, she knew it sounded rude, even when she didn't mean it to.

That happened to her a lot. Maybe she was just a rude person, and had tricked herself into thinking she wasn’t.

“It’s all about moderation,” he said with a smile. Isaac stood up, walked closer to the doorway. Tori followed, until they could just barely see into the family room.

Tao was in an impassioned debate with Tara and Darcy. The former wanted to watch an indie film; the latter, Mamma Mia. Imogen sat next to Elle, the two half-heartedly watching the battle play out in front of them.

Charlie and Nick sat on the couch. Nick leaned in closer, whispered something in his ear, and her brother laughed. His hands were entangled with Nick’s. His shoulders were relaxed. He was truly and genuinely happy.

Tori couldn’t remember the last time she felt like that. She couldn’t remember ever feeling like that. And she suspected it had nothing to do with her relationship status.

“Quiet is nice,” Isaac said next to her. “It’s necessary. But it’s also easy to get lost in.”

“What do you mean?” It was a pointless question — she knew exactly what he meant. But she asked anyway.

“Just that, when you’re stuck in your own world for so long, it becomes hard to remember what you gain from everyone else’s. And there’s a lot to gain. That is, if you can manage to put up with all the noise every once and a while.”

He nodded toward the family room. The debate had greatly intensified, arms flailing in support of arguments they were only half making. They kept getting interrupted by their own laughter. She wondered whether any of them still cared about the films in question.

“Isaac will agree with me,” Tao said, before loudly yelling out his name.

“No!” Tara managed to squeak out. “Isaac is literally my best friend in the whole world, he’ll agree with me!”

“Tara!” Darcy yelled. “If Isaac is your best friend, what the fuck am I?”

“…Arm candy?”

The laughter broke out again in full force. She could feel the itch, the desire to join them, in spite of the headache it would give her. Just to prove that she could, if she wanted to. She could have this life. She could make these choices. She could pretend.

The truth barged in, smothered her doubt before it could grow into something properly delusional. She was not Isaac. They may have both made friends with the quiet, but he’d managed to build a door in it, allowing a funnel of noise to slowly creep in at a pace he could handle. In return, he sent back some of the silence, something this group was sorely missing. They balanced each other out.

Friendship, she was beginning to understand, was a transaction. Nobody gave all this joy for free. And she, with all her misery and melancholy, her self-destruction and self-isolation, could never afford to give enough. Not if she wanted anyone to stick around.

Except Charlie. Though he didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. And if he did, she was certain he would never have picked her. Taboo skills be damned.

Her silence was useless. It was suffocating, not peaceful. It didn’t offer balance — it overwhelmed. There was nothing for anyone around her to gain.

Maybe that was the reason she stayed on the train. Better to crash in ignorance than to know for certain that nobody would care if she made it out or not.

“It’s not that simple,” she finally said, so softly she wasn’t sure he’d hear her.

“I know.”

“And it’s safer. Keeping quiet.”

“It is.” There was something in his voice. Tori wondered if maybe one of Charlie’s friends would understand after all. “It gets a bit boring, though, doesn’t it?”

Tori couldn’t pull her eyes off the crowd. The thought of spending the night down here with them was exhausting. But the thought of going back to her dark room with her mediocre movie that she wouldn’t even finish didn’t make her feel any better.

“You’re very wise,” she told him.

“I read a lot of books.”

Elle finally offered up a third option— a rerun of some Bake Off episode they’d all already seen — and the others appeared to find her suggestion reasonable. Someone called Isaac’s name again, and he exhaled deeply.

He took a step forward, before pausing and turning back. “Should I tell them you’ll be joining us?”

Tori wasn’t confident that anybody would notice her absence. Not even Charlie.

“Tell them I was tired.”

She half expected him to look disappointed in her, which would be ridiculous because she hardly knew him. But all he did was nod.

She lingered in the hallway for another few minutes, before quietly making her way upstairs. Standing in front of her bedroom, she paused. It was so dark in there. The clouds must have shifted over the past hour or so, because there wasn’t any light coming through the window.

Her laptop lay abandoned on the floor beside her. It beckoned her, persuading her to return to her former state. Usually, with its endless library of movies and blogs, her computer felt familiar. Reliable. A singular comfort in a world that offered her nothing of the sort.

Tonight, it felt much more insidious. Like it knew she was an addict. Like it could see her resolve slipping. She could feel it lurking in the metaphorical and literal shadows, waiting for her inevitable relapse so it could swoop in and supply what it always did: mind-numbing distraction.

It was a very melodramatic way to perceive a piece of technology. That was what she told herself as she opened it back up again.

But instead of completing her retreat, she sat back down where she’d started, at the top of the stairs. She clicked play on her movie, but she lowered the volume and took one headphone out.

The sound from downstairs carried, like it had before. In one ear, she heard dialogue from her computer; in the other, she heard her brother and his friends adding commentary to their show. It made it impossible to follow either, and she knew she probably wouldn’t last more than fifteen minutes before she gave up and officially escaped back to her bedroom.

But for now, she did what she always did: listen.

It was almost enough.

#as always comments and kudos give me life #heartstopper #solitaire #osmanverse #heartstopper fanfic #solitarie fanfic #tori spring #charlie spring #nick and charlie #and yes the random olympic line is a nod to my boy michael holden

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asyouleft · 1 year ago

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WIP Wednesday

Finally remembering that I always want to post WIP Wednesday but constantly forget.

Anyway:

Irondad for @happyaspie

“Hiya, Spidey,” came Mr. Stark’s voice from the suit and a second later, the man himself stepped out. Peter had been this close to Mr. Stark once, back when they went to the Stark Expo. He was in awe of the man and the suit then and now, it was much of the same.

Peter almost fell off the building on purpose, running away from the whole situation, but he couldn’t get himself to move. Instead he cleared his throat, trying to sound much older than almost but not quite 16 years old. “Hi, Mr. Stark Man.”

The second the words left his mouth, he wanted to die right then and there.

Mr. Stark laughed, moving away from the suit and coming closer. “Mr. Stark Man was my father, please call me Tony.”

“I’d prefer Mr. Stark,” Peter said, words coming out of his mouth without his permission. “Can I help you?”

“Hm,” Mr. Stark said, stopping close to Peter, almost enough to touch him. “I just wanted to say hi. I’ve seen you swinging around lately, pretty impressive stuff if I do say so myself. That car you caught? Great job.”

“Thanks.”

And two Heartstopper fics for good measure:

“We should hang out sometime, it’d be nice to catch up,” Nick said, cutting him off before Charlie could escape the conversation. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “What’s your number? I’ll text you, so you can have mine.”

Charlie was a bit confused and worried at how strong Nick had come on. He tried to remember if they really did talk at any point but he could remember nothing beyond a brief hi once, maybe twice. Nick was a year above him and played rugby, something Charlie didn’t touch. He was never allowed to attend any parties, especially if Ben was going to be there too.

“Oh uh,” Charlie stammered. He’d gotten a new number and phone after leaving Ben since he was in charge of their phone bills. He kinda remembered it but with Nick standing there, he couldn’t recall. He fished his phone out of his pocket, unlocking the screen. “I just got a new number,” he added. “I don’t really remember it, sorry.”

“Oh, let me give you mine,” Nick said, not deterred in the slightest. He rambled out his number, as Charlie typed it into his contact, labeled him as “Rugby Nick” for some reason. There were only 5 names in his contact list to begin with, it wasn’t like he wouldn't remember putting in Nick Nelson’s number.

and my favorite new thing I'm writing (to which I had to find the least explicit part which is kinda hard apparently)

“Ah shit,” Charlie said, almost falling off the bed in his haste. “Where the fuck are my jeans?”

“Your jeans? Jesus, where are my pants?” Nick mumbled, getting up out of bed and scavenging around his floor. “We have to be better about this part.”

“Oh sorry,” Charlie said, rolling his eyes, but finding his jeans, pulling them back on while Nick struggled to get his shirt over his head. “I was a little preoccupied with the hickey you were sucking into my collarbone to stop and fold my pants.”

They dressed with just enough time, opening the bedroom door and getting in their “normal” cuddle pose just as Sarah came up the stairs. Nick had placed his laptop on his lap, making it look like they’d just been watching something. But if Sarah came any closer she might have noticed the laptop wasn’t even turned on.

“Hi boys!” she called out, her voice a lot louder than it needed to be. “I’m home and coming up the stairs.”

Charlie blushed, shoving his face into Nick’s shoulder as his boyfriend giggled. “God, I hate that she totally knows what we’re doing. This is just - so cringe.”

#fic #irondad #heartstopper #wip wednesday #this is going to encourage me to finish these things lol

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czenzo · 1 year ago

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Nick and Charlie (& Nellie)

[ao3]

summary: Five times Nellie interrupts Nick and Charlie, and one time she decides to hold back.

words: 3381 rating: T

content warning: description of a dog choking (with successful recovery)

Nick Nelson was not a fan of mathematics, and he was appalled that he still had to do it at A-Level (what psychopath decided physics calculations should be in sports science?). Not only did it take him at least twenty minutes to complete a question involving too many numbers, but what little ability he had to do it was thrown out of the window in the presence of Charlie – so he wasn’t sure how he ever thought inviting him round to do their homework together was a good idea.

But if he was being honest, Charlie being there meant homework wasn’t his number one priority anyway.

“You’re staring again,” Charlie murmured, pen pressed against his bottom lip as he mulled over the beginnings of an essay. He lay on his stomach, head resting in one hand and legs swinging to and fro in the air in time to the music playing softly in the background.

“No I’m not,” Nick said, dragging his eyes back down to his paper. He was supposed to have been working his way through a practice exam paper in preparation for his upcoming mock exams, but in the past half an hour had only managed to get through a staggering two pages. It was safe to say his revision was not going well, and he was certain to pay the price for it later on – but at the moment he couldn’t find it in him to care.

As Charlie continued to um and ah over his essay’s introduction, it didn’t escape Nick’s notice how his curls were so long they flopped down his forehead and almost brushed his eyelashes – those dark, swooping lashes that Imogen had expressed jealousy toward more times than he could count – and every time Charlie wasn’t sure about his wording, his eyebrows knotted and his nose scrunched up in such a way that it would have been a crime for Nick to not stare.

They’d been together for almost two years, and Nick still had to regularly pinch himself.

Charlie Spring was beautiful – and Charlie Spring was his boyfriend.

He must have been a saint in a past life to be deserving of this.

“Nick,” Charlie said through soft laughter, catching his eye with a smile. Nick’s line of sight had managed to once again drift away from his paper, and once again he’d been caught red-handed.

“Sorry.” Nick gave him a toothy grin. “Can’t help myself.”

“How many questions have you got left?”

He flicked through the booklet. “At least twenty.”

“Jesus. How long do you get in the real exam?”

“An hour? I think.”

Charlie looked at him in silence.

“Now who’s the one staring?”

“Do your practice paper!” Charlie laughed, tapping on Nick’s barely-filled booklet with his pen.

“It’s very hard to revise when there’s a pretty boy in my room.”

Charlie’s cheeks flushed as he responded, “This pretty boy has been in your room hundreds of times. You should be used to it by now.”

“But he’s looking especially pretty today.”

“How about,” Charlie said, perking up, “for every question you do, you get a kiss?”

“Shit,” Nick said softly. “I can’t say no to that.”

Charlie nodded to the booklet. “Then get a move on, Nicholas.”

“Sir, yes, sir.”

Ten minutes later, a question had been finished, and Nick was quick to point it out and receive his reward. Charlie seemed more than happy to oblige, getting up and moving closer to Nick in the blink of an eye.

“Well done,” he murmured as Nick pulled him in close by the waist. He sunk into the touch and their lips met, falling into a rhythm like it was second nature. It was slow, smooth, and so calming that Nick felt like he could fall asleep like his, with Charlie’s hand on his cheek and the other hanging loosely off his shoulder. To hell with homework and revision – this was pure bliss, and Nick was holding onto it for as long as possible.

“Boof!”

“Nellie!” Charlie called out, pulling away and turning in the direction of the noise. The door swung open to reveal Nellie, who looked incredibly proud of herself for being able to nudge her way inside with her nose. Charlie leapt out of Nick’s arms and towards the eager canine, wasting no time in reaching to ruffle the fur around her ears and tell her what a good girl she was.

It was a wonderful sight, the love of his life doting on his beloved dog, but the tingling sensation Charlie had left on his lips was hard to ignore. No doubt once Nellie had got her dose of Charlie’s attention, Nick would have to get back to work and do a whole other exam question before he could even think about touching Charlie again. Rubbish.

Sure enough, once Nellie had received her fair share of head scratches, Charlie ushered Nick back to his paper. Nick squinted at Nellie, who simply looked back at him with a tilt of her head.

He forgave her two minutes later. It was impossible to be annoyed at a face like that for too long.

***

Charlie’s parents weren’t home, which was rarer than seeing Isaac without a book in his hands.

It was the first thing that had left Charlie’s mouth when he opened the door: “My parents are out. Tori’s blasting music in her room.”

A grin crept onto Nick’s face. He knew he probably looked quite silly, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. “Oh, really?”

“Really.” Charlie looked down and a beaming smile appeared on his face; it was so endearing that Nick barely processed what he said next. “You brought Nellie with you? Oh, hello, you lovely girl! I haven’t seen you in so long…”

Between Nellie’s yaps and Charlie’s cooing, Nick said, “Mum’s busy and Nellie needed walking. I hope that’s alright? I should’ve checked, really.”

“I would never not be okay with you bringing my favourite dog in the world, Nick.” Nellie dragged her tongue across Charlie’s face, and he cried out. “But, seriously. My parents aren’t home. Feel like taking advantage of that?”

“I would never not be okay with taking advantage of that,” Nick said. “But… Nellie?”

“Tori really likes her, even though she’d never admit it. We could leave them together for a little while.”

The second the door to Charlie’s room shut behind them, Nick had him pressed against it. The noise Charlie made when his back hit wood was utterly obscene, and Nick was quick to bring their lips together and drink it all up.

Charlie snaked his hands around Nick’s waist, finding purchase in the fabric of his t-shirt and pulling him closer. The feeling of their bodies pressed against one another was incredible – he could almost feel every dip, groove, and line of Charlie’s chest, abdomen, and hips, and when Nick’s hands carefully dipped beneath fabric and brushed against bare skin, it was burning hot.

“Nick,” Charlie whispered. He could barely hear him over the sound of Tori’s music from the next room. Nick felt fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt, and obligingly lifted his arms to help Charlie pull it off. The air nipped at his exposed torso, but he was back on Charlie so quickly he didn’t care about the chill.

Charlie took a step forward, pressing further into Nick and guiding them both towards the bed. Nick felt the mattress against the backs of his knees and stopped, but Charlie pushed and clambered on top of him, leaning down to scatter kisses across his chest.

Nick bit down on his lip to avoid making too much noise, and eventually flipped them over. It was then that he suddenly remembered how much bigger he was than Charlie. Broader shoulders, thicker waist, stronger arms… From how Charlie’s eyes widened, it seemed he’d come to the same realisation.

Their lips met again, and slid messily over one another, tongues intertwining as Nick slowly lowered his body down. He shivered as Charlie’s nails dragged gentle patterns across his bare back, then moved to latch onto his neck. Charlie froze.

“Is this okay?” Nick murmured.

“Yes. Yes.”

Nick kissed, nipped, and sucked at the tender flesh beneath Charlie’s jaw, while one free hand toyed with the curls atop of his head. Charlie writhed and whined underneath Nick’s touch. He kept going – kept kissing, sucking, hoping to leave a mark, hoping Charlie would find it just as hot as he did—

“Boof!”

Scratching came from behind the door; it was the familiar sound of Nellie’s claws desperately scrabbling at wood. Nick paused, then grimaced at the line of spit that formed when he pulled away.

“Oh.” Charlie laughed softly. “I think she misses you.”

“I feel cruel for shutting her out, now. But you’re— you look so—”

“We can do this another time.” He moved to give Nick one last, deep kiss, then tossed Nick his t-shirt on the way to the door.

Nellie bounded in as soon as the door was open an inch and circled Charlie before beelining to Nick. He was thrilled to see her so happy, but a horrible pang in his chest reminded him that it’d be a long time before they had Charlie’s house (almost) to themselves again.

A big, sloppy lick to the face stopped him from regretting bringing Nellie. She was far too sweet to leave behind, and Charlie’s face always lit up around her.

The hickey could wait until next time.

***

“It’s so sunny today!” Nick exclaimed as he let Nellie off her leash. She immediately began to run circles around them and roll around in the grass. “Are we sure we’re still in England?”

“Don’t jinx it,” Charlie said as he smoothed out the blanket. Nick had survived one of his harder exams today, so they’d decided to take advantage of the weather and celebrate with a picnic.

Nick laid back and soaked up the sun. “I wish it was always like this.”

“I don’t! I like jumpers and hot chocolate way too much for that.”

“Opposites really do attract,” Nick said, propping himself up on his forearms and squinting at his boyfriend. “Did we pack the custard creams?”

“Of course. It isn’t a proper picnic without them.”

Nick stretched out an arm and half-heartedly tried to reach for the bag of food. “Oh, but they’re so far away.”

“Doing an exam isn’t a good excuse for being lazy,” Charlie laughed, but he retrieved the biscuits anyway. Nick heard the packaging rustling and he sat up, only to find Charlie holding a biscuit up to him. “Here.”

With a teasing smile on his face, Nick leant forward and took a bite from it, lips barely missing Charlie’s fingers. Regret sunk in immediately; that was probably a really weird thing to do, and now Charlie was going to be grossed out and – no. Charlie was smiling. Blushing.

Okay.

He finished chewing, then cautiously leant back in to take the rest of the biscuit between his teeth. Charlie’s fingers trembled ever so slightly, and he kissed the tip of one before drawing back.

“Is it weird,” Charlie said slowly, “that I kind of liked that?”

“No,” Nick said around a mouthful of custard cream.

“Is it weird that I kind of want to do it again?”

He contemplated this for a short moment. “No.”

Charlie took another biscuit in hand and held it out. Nick caught his eye, leaned in, and a flurry of fur suddenly sped past, stealing the biscuit mid-jump.

“Nellie!” Charlie cried, clutching his stomach. “Oh God, can she even have those?”

Nick jumped to his feet, and Nellie’s tail wagged at the excitement of a chase. “Come back! Give me that!”

As he frantically chased her down, Charlie’s laughter was music to his ears, and helped soften the disappointment of having yet another moment interrupted.

***

“Here you go Nel,” Nick said as he filled the food bowl. Nellie barked and immediately dove in, wolfing the meat down as if she hadn’t been fed for days. Nick scoffed affectionately and scratched her between the ears, but it was cut short by the sudden chime of the doorbell. Nick practically ran to answer it.

“Char,” he said with a grin. Charlie was wearing one of his many stolen jumpers; the sleeves almost completely hid his fingers and the neck gaped around his collarbone, but Nick thought he looked fantastic.

“Where’s your mum?” Charlie said as he stepped inside and yanked off his shoes.

“Had to go and grab some bits for tonight’s dinner. How do you feel about spaghetti?”

Charlie scowled. “I hate spaghetti, Nick. You should know that.”

“Oh— er, shit. I’m so—”

Abrupt laughter cut him off. “I’m kidding! I’m sorry. Your face – you looked so guilty! I’m sorry, Nick. I love spaghetti.” He reached up on his toes to kiss the tip of Nick’s nose, then left one on his lips for good measure.

“You got me,” Nick said, wrapping his arms around Charlie’s waist and pulling him in close. Seeing his boyfriend’s cheeks redden like that would never get old.

“I’ve missed you,” Charlie murmured.

“You saw me a few days ago.”

“I know. I don’t care.”

“We’re disgusting.”

“I know,” Charlie said. He smirked, then added, “But I don’t care.”

Nick wasn’t sure how many times they’d kissed. Hundreds? No. Thousands? More? Either way, kissing Charlie was still as exciting as the first time. His heart raced. He melted into Charlie’s touch. He laid his hands on both sides of his face and kissed him deeply, savouring the taste and the feeling of Charlie’s fingers on the nape of his neck.

They pressed closely together, and—

A strange choking noise came from the kitchen. A hack, then a breathy whine. Choking. Choking—

“Oh my god,” Nick said, running back into the kitchen.

Nellie was by her bowl, hunched up and convulsing as she choked on her food. Nick fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around her chest, hoping and praying that the manoeuvre was the same for dogs as it was for humans, and cursing himself for never researching how to deal with this just in case.

Pure panic washed over him as he pulled Nellie close and rhythmically pressed against her chest, desperately trying to dislodge the meat stuck in her throat, while nearby Charlie spoke to the vet’s emergency line. He’d thank him immensely afterwards, but for now Nellie was the only thing he could see.

She struggled and writhed and whined, but with enough movement, was eventually able to hack the food back up. Nick fell limp and held tightly onto her.

“You were incredible,” Charlie said as he knelt beside them. “She’s lucky to have you.”

Nick hoped Nellie’s fur would hide his tears. “Thank you.”

***

He’d known he was moving away for uni for a long while. He’d had time to prepare. He’d had time to work out how to deal with it. He’d had so much time to spend with his boyfriend before he had to leave him.

Yet saying goodbye to Charlie was unbearable.

All of his stuff had been packed tetris-style into his car, and all that was left was for him to hop in and drive away, but Charlie had come to wave him off and it was like a magnet was stopping them from pulling apart.

They clung to one another like their lives depended on it. In a way, they almost did.

“I’ll miss you so much,” Charlie said against his shoulder. “But you’re gonna have an amazing time. I’m so proud of you.”

“I love you,” was all Nick could think to say. Charlie pulled back to look him in the eyes, and Nick didn’t miss the tear tracks on his cheeks. He was sure there were some on his own, too.

“I love you too. Go out there and show Leeds how incredible you are.”

Nick gave him a wobbly smile. “I will.”

His mum and Charlie walked him to his car, and once he stopped beside it, he took a deep, shaky breath.

“You’ll be amazing, Nicky.” His mum pressed a kiss to his forehead and held him tight. “Let me know when you’ve arrived, okay? Remember I’m always just a call away.”

“I will. I know. Love you, mum.”

“Love you, sweetheart. You won’t need it, but good luck! I’ll leave you boys to it.”

“So,” Charlie said once they found themselves alone.

Nick sniffed. “So.”

“We shouldn’t drag this out. It’ll make it worse.”

“You’re right. Come here.” Nick dragged him close before he could even respond. Charlie’s weight and warmth were so familiar, so comforting to him, he wasn’t sure how he’d survive without it. He was going to find a way, he reminded himself. He was going to become his own person. He was going to be amazing.

Charlie shook against him, and Nick rubbed soothing circles into his back. “We’ll be okay.”

He pulled back and framed Charlie’s face in his hands, looking into those eyes that had become just as familiar to him as his own. He leant in, eyes fluttering closed, preparing himself for what would be their last kiss for, God, he didn’t even know how long, and—

Bark!

Nellie bounded through the door and towards the car, throwing herself at Nick for one last goodbye. When she noticed Charlie’s tears, she threw herself at him, too, and Charlie seemed to find solace in the softness of her fur.

As Nick drove away, he watched his boyfriend and best friend comfort each other in the rearview mirror, and blinked away the blurriness of his tears.

***

+ 1

My big brother is coming home today.

He’s been gone for a while. I don’t know why. When he left Charlie held me really tight. I love Charlie. He’s been coming to visit while my brother is gone. He made biscuits with my mum (and I wasn’t allowed any).

Charlie’s here today. So is mum, and my other brother (who isn’t as nice), and lots of other people who scratch behind my ears and give me treats. There are lights everywhere, and a tree full of shiny things! I would like to have one of the shiny things.

There’s music, and singing, and food (some of it’s for me!), and people and laughter. It’s cold outside, but inside it’s warm.

Charlie’s sitting on the stairs. He’s watching the door. There’s a mug in his hands, but he’s not drinking from it. He looks nervous, but I don’t know why. He checks his phone (he’s been doing that a lot today).

I trot over to him and yap to get his attention. He looks up and smiles! I love Charlie’s smile. He gives me good scratches and calls me a good girl and I decide I’m going to sit beside him on the stairs. He keeps one hand on my head and stares at the door some more. I stare at it too. I hope I’m helping.

The door handle moves. Charlie jumps up, and I bark bark bark – who is it? Who is it?! Charlie wrenches the door open and— it’s my big brother! My big brother is home!

I bark and bark and bark and people come into the hallway to see what’s happening and I watch as Charlie hugs my big brother.

I want to run up to my big brother and say hello. I want to see his face up close. I want him to scratch behind my ears and tell me I’m a good girl! I want to tell him how much I’ve missed him.

But Charlie is holding onto my brother very tightly. He looks like he doesn’t want to let go.

Charlie is crying.

I think my big brother is, too.

I will wait. I will let Nick and Charlie say hello first. I will be a good girl.

They are kissing. I don’t understand that. Licking is easier.

My big brother wipes away Charlie’s tears and hugs him again.

And then he turns to me.

“Nellie! Oh, I’ve missed you so much – come here!”

He holds out his arms. I run into them.

I love my big brother.

#heartstopper #heartstopper fic #nick nelson #charlie spring #narlie #nellie nelson #czenzo.fic

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